Becoming A Mother Is Just As Valuable As Getting A Ph.D.

What do you plan on doing after university? The infamous question that university students are endlessly asked from the day they enter school until they leave. Depending on who you are, who's asking, and where you are in your higher education journey, the answer can vary from a monologue of the Shakespearean caliber to a two-second witty remark that totally avoids the question.

However, the expectation is there - you will indeed do something, of some sort, after university. Although they may or may not be verbalized, those expectations are a set of norms that must be followed. If not society, especially of a higher circle, sees your higher education efforts as a failure. In more layman terms, going to university will become a waste of time and money if you do 'nothing' with your university degree.

These expectations do not end at graduation. They continue on as we enter the work field and eventually form families. Specifically for women, the expectation is that when we become mothers, we will raise our children and work. Another expectation is that we will not have children until it is financially convenient. And the list goes on and on. As if motherhood were not a daunting, but yet exceptionally rewarding experience in and of itself.

However, I am here to make a stand that just because I have a bachelors and plan to obtain a Ph.D. does not mean that these are the priorities of my life. Quite contrary to popular belief, I do not expect myself to do something of some sort with my degree in the way society expects me to do so. Although I have a career trajectory, and a bright one at that, it is not the most important thing in the world to me. Rather it is a secondary goal.

My first and primary goal is my family: present and future. To the surprise of many, I did not go to university to discover the cure to cancer nor to solve world hunger. Neither did I go to university in order to earn absurd amounts of money and to climb my way up the social ladder. Quite the contrary, I sought a university education so that I could better care for my family. That was my goal and even four years later it continues to be my goal.

Some may ask: 'why did you go to university to obtain that goal? By having a university degree that means that you are set up in life to have job security and high earnings. So why wouldn't you want to do something with your university degree?' The problem with this mentality is not evident at face value. Besides the fact that finding a job with high earnings is difficult, this lifestyle is not fulfilling if there is no motivator behind it, besides solely surviving.

However, when I express my desire to become a mother, I am looked down upon. 50 years ago people expected you to get married. So am I crazy for wanting to do so now? Marriage has become the final step in people's lives, but I want it to be among the first.

So my answer is that I went to university because I wanted to put myself in such a position that I could be a voice of reason and counsel to those I most love. Because of my university education, I am now better prepared to grant my brother business advice. I am able to help my parents budget appropriately their retirement. I am able to seek employment and hold a steady job if that be my choice so I can contribute financially in my home. But, in this same way, I am free to leave my employment so I can dedicate myself to my future husband and children. I am educated in such a way that I can provide my future children with more opportunities than were ever offered to me.

These blessings and many more are sufficient reason as to why I went to university. If people want to work, research, and climb up the corporate ladder as part of their aspirations, then go ahead. But for me, I am going to university and getting a Ph.D. so I can better serve my family.