I have been an aunt for a little over five years now. It started with my beautiful niece, Bella-bug. Then, two years ago my friend Lacey had a little boy named Jace who basically became my first nephew for all intents and purposes. Then there were the twins a few months later, Dallas and Trenton, my second niece Layna-bug a year after that, and finally the little chunky monkey Ryder who just turned a year old. Needless to say, but saying it anyways, my house often has more babies than one person knows what to do with.As such, I often pitch in and play mom on and off. I like to consider these times both the cause of my baby fever and also it's cure. Here is motherhood, as told by the aunt.
1. There is no such thing as 'you' time.
Nope nope nope. That child is crying. It's not just I'm sleepy fussing. No, not just I'm hungry crying. It's "I need your attention right this second, I will die if you stop holding me, and don't you dare try to change this diaper no matter how bad I smell" crying. Then the child stops crying. And you breathe and think to yourself, "wow I love children so much, look at your cute face." Then their brother starts to cry.
2. Self-esteem is a concept you can wave bye to now
Just the other week my nephews, Trenton and Dallas, made a game of lifting my shirt to grab my belly fat. They also liked the sound it made when they smacked it. Jace Lee had an awful habit of pulling my shirt down at any opportunity, mostly if I was trying to put him down. Now, their deliberate attacks to your aesthetics are not all you must contend with. Let's not forget baby slobber all down your front, cheese curl stains on your pants, and that oh so delightful smell when you've had to hold a baby that had a realllllly nice surprise for you to deal with. Don't try to look good, and don't try to smell nice.
3. You'll have a love-hate relationship with clothing
When I have children I'm going to design saran wrap outfits. No more bibs that they miss anyways and no more last minute shirt changing because dinner got messy. I'm just wrapping my kids in saran wrap and hosing them down after meals. Or I'm starting a diaper only movement. I'll put my kid in clothes to go out during the winter months, but otherwise nope. Nope, nope, no more wrestling with shirts or pants. Definitely no more helping the child put the shoe on, who definitely wants the shoe on, but definitely does not want to cooperate with your efforts to put his or her shoe on. But then again, when they're all dressed up wearing their little outfits and those cute little light up shoes your heart melts and you realize that clothes are worth all the hassle. Then their shoe falls off.
4. Your food vs. their Food
It's not even a real thing when there are babies around. It's all their food. Everything belongs to the babies. The food you gave them that is the exact same as your food except maybe warmer (y'know, because you spent your time cutting up their food instead of eating) is not acceptable. They must have bites of your food. They must also take their brothers even though they have theirs in front of them, untouched. This is the law of babydom. Also, why eat it when you can shove it into your booster seat?
5. Playtime
Everything is a toy. Everything. Even you. Prepare to be poked, prodded, ridden, and otherwise mishandled. Your phone is always under attack and probably locked for 5 hours by this point. Anything with buttons is now a phone and you will find yourself answering no matter where you are or what you're doing. Quiet is suspicious and probably means that Dallas is closing Trenton in the coffee table while Alayna watches. Also, babies have no fear. You will watch your nephews race from one end of the couch to the other. You will see them do crazy acts and wonder how they're not dead or hurt and eventually your heart beats again.
6. How special it all is
Coming to my house and playing mom is not always super fun. Especially the diapers. Yet I understand the cliches of motherhood more and more as I bath Alayna and see her catch sight of herself in the mirror. Or I watch the twins giggle as they wrestle one another. Jace is a protective older brother and Bella loves to play baby with her younger brother. Watching Ryder walk around, the always happy baby that he is. And this is just how I feel about other people's children. I can't even imagine what it will be like to have children of my own and do all of this with them.
The moral of this story is that parents deserve massive props. Children are not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Sometimes I get to just be the fun aunt and that's great. Other times I'm the mom aunt and that's it's own type of reward. But I get to stop doing this sometimes. Children go home or I go home and I get to be just Shaniah. A massive encouragement is needed for those who are parents full time, especially those who play double duty.
