We all know someone who would rather suffer in silence than ask for help.
They’re determined that they can do it all on their own, and will turn down aid if you offer it. Even if it’s something as simple as picking up something that’s heavy, they WILL NOT let you help. You know someone just like that, don’t you?
A lot of the time, I find myself being this person. I didn’t even realize that I was until I heard my boyfriend say to me, “You know you can ask for help, right?” I almost immediately became defensive, but it was true. I was suffering by myself instead of humbling myself enough to request assistance.
My problem wasn’t that I was too prideful to ask: it was just that I’ve been raised to believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. My mom always taught me that I don’t need a man to get stuff done, so I became independent.
Seriously, I remember there was one instance growing up where my mom wanted a storage closet. Instead of waiting around for my dad to do it, we went to Home Depot, bought the materials, and built a dang good closet. We put up the walls, we laid the floor, and we built the shelves - just the two of us.
My mother taught me that I was invincible, and I’ve lived my life that way ever since.
When it came time for my damaged self to go to counseling, I was extremely resistant. Every week, I would go to counseling and just stare at my counselor, not saying a word. I kept it up for about six months, until I came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going anywhere. I could either sit and sulk, or I could talk and things would actually get better.
This sparked a vulnerability that I had never experienced before. That’s what getting help does - it makes you vulnerable. Suddenly, I went from this depressed twelve year old who kept her secrets hidden away to a girl that had someone to confide in. Someone who wouldn’t tell my secrets. Someone who could help me sort through all of the issues I was dealing with.
I continued to confide in her for the next five years. Seriously, changed my life. It was so freeing to let someone help me carry the burdens I had. When I say that the weight was lifted off of my shoulders, I’m not exaggerating.
When I see others struggling now, I always think, “Why don’t they get help?! It works!! It was the best thing that happened to me!” But then I remember that not everyone functions the way I do. Most people see asking for help as a sign of weakness. Most people would probably act the way I did when I first started out.
What they don’t know is that those who ask for help are some of the strongest people. Recognizing that you can’t do it on your own takes a tremendous amount of strength. WAY more than you could probably imagine.
The other day, while reading Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio, one thing specifically stood out to me. Louie mentions that we as Christians live as if everything is up to us. We live in a manner that says, “Hey Jesus, thanks for saving me, but I’ve got it from here.” We are so stubborn that instead of letting the One who holds the earth in His hands take care of it, we keep to ourselves.
Any time we find ourselves in sin, we become determined to handle it ourselves, when in reality we are possibly the last people who should be taking care of it. We think that we should handle the giant in our lives, but Jesus is the only one who ultimately has the power to defeat it.
We can’t live this way! We can’t sit around and suffer because we aren’t depending on God. We have to let Him fight our battles. He will never hesitate to lend a helping hand. We just have to ask. We have to surrender our struggles to the only one who can do anything about them.
Don’t ever feel embarrassed to ask for help. There are TONS of people who would be willing to, and a God who would be OVERJOYED to. Trust in Him. Ask for help. In the end, you’ll only be happy that you did, and chances are, things will be much, much better.