To The Month Of April

To The Month Of April

I hate you as much as I love you.

We’re entering the month of April and if you’re like me, this is the month where zombies become a real thing. Where just getting through the semester is biggest goal among others, like waking up on time, staying awake, not mumbling your answers in a manner that even you can’t seem to decipher, remembering that you have a life outside of the piles of homework, papers, exams and projects (*gasp*), and reminding yourself that your only method of identification isn’t your school username.

April is the point where you daydream about the brains that you seemed to have misplaced somewhere between holiday break and realizing that you’ve still got over a month after spring break. Hence why you’re suddenly craving other people’s brains. But FYI, theirs are mush too.

April is what leads you to believe that you’re on a downward slope, but then you realize that really it’s an upward slope that’s akin to climbing Mount Everest without stopping, regardless of how much pain you’re in because you can’t. Because there are no excuses when your money, GPA and pride are on the line.

April is the month where you begin to wonder if maybe you should start working on your swimsuit body, but then promptly remember that you have absolutely no time for that because, duh, you’re a college student and that in and of its self is a full-time (and I mean full-time) job. Plus, there’s a lot of leftover chocolate from recent holidays that you need to drown your sorrows in, so that way you can remain sane for the rest of the semester.

April is the month where you see warm temperatures and get excited. You wear dresses or shorts, you slip on flip-flops or sandals, and you break out your toe-nail polish, only to realize that there’s wind and have a full-on Marilyn Monroe moment in the middle of campus. Or the sky opens up and reminds you just how unpredictable April is by drowning you like a rat.

April is the month where you eagerly place new classes in your registration cart because you’re just so darn eager to be done with this semester and the classes you’re currently in. You even wake up at 6:00 a.m. in the morning just to make sure you get a seat and you feel something shimmer in front of your pessimistic, zombie-like state: excitement. You see a new beginning after a relaxing summer, not realizing that by the time September comes around you’ll already be anticipating the end of that semester too.

April is the month where you get invited to do things, you get awards, you start to think about the next year, about your future, about your goals, and about a shiny, bright future. It’s the month where you start out in a "The Walking Dead" about to face Negan and wake up in "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt," because although you’ve never seen it, the title sounds promising. You can relate because you’ve survived the apocalyptic doom of spring and feel invincible.

April is the month where you realize that you’re going to have to say goodbye to some of the friends you’ve made, whether it’s only for the summer or because they’re graduating. You hope that you’ll keep in touch, but if graduating high school has taught you one thing, it’s that sometimes you just don’t.

April is the month where your backpack begins to get lighter. The month where you earn some cash from selling back your books. The month where you begin to make summer plans and summer reading lists and summer trips and just plain summer fun. The month where you get excited about not having to deal with crazy parking. Where you start to miss all the other months that aren’t April; the ones you won’t get back. Where you start missing the classes you actually liked. Where you realize that you’re another year through college and another year closer toward the part beyond class, even if you’re not sure how to get there yet or even where you’re going.

Mostly, it’s the month where you feel so many emotions, that by the time May comes around you can’t tell the difference between up and down, Einstein’s and Starbucks, closed parking lots and open ones, and school and home because school is home. Or at least, sometimes it feels like it.

The best way that I can think of describing the month of April is in the words of "Ten Things I Hate About You:" “I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

Cover Image Credit: Salon

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right

In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" ""

31. "Sleep? I don't know about's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"

35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?

39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"

I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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10 Shakespearean Insults We Should Use More Often

"Thou art a boil, a plague sore."

Insults these days just don't quite sound like the ones that were around during Shakespeare's time. He really had a knack for making insults sounds... different. Enjoy!

1. "Thine face is not worth sunburning."

This quote is from Henry V in Act 5, Scene 2. I find this one especially funny. Like, honey, your face is so ratchet you don't even deserve a sunburn. HAHA, dang that's mean.

2. "Thou lump of foul deformity."

From Richard III Act 1, Scene 2. Okay...this one is hilarious. I'm not sure even what it means, but it's great and I am for sure gonna start saying it.

3. "Peace, ye fat guts!"

HAHAHA WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK? These are so funny. I want to know who hurt Shakespeare when he was a kid. (Henry IV Part 1 Act 2, Scene 2)

4. "More of your conversation would infect my brain."

Seriously though, I can't tell you how many times a day I would like to say this to people. (The Comedy of Errors Act 2, Scene 1)

5. "Away, you three-inch fool!"

I can't help but wonder who this was being said to, and also, how he came up with this stuff?? (The Taming of the Shrew Act 3, Scene 3)

6. "Thou art a boil, a plague sore."

Yikes...what a burn! (King Lear Act 2, Scene 2)

7. "Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock fish!"

There are FIVE PARTS to this...what the...I don't even know. Drop the mic. (Henry IV Part 1 Act 2, Scene 4)

8. "Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage."

I just thought this one was funny because he had nothing better to come up with. (As You Like It Act 2, Scene 7)

9. "Thou art as fat as butter."

Okay, why do I feel like this is an argument between a couple five-year-olds? (Henry IV Part 1)

10. "What, you egg? Young fry of treachery!"

This is probably the best one yet. From now on, everyone will be referred to as "egg". (Macbeth Act 4, Scene 2)

Cover Image Credit: Twitter

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