A Letter To The Mother I Never Knew.
Family Friends

Momma, Here I Am

I hope you'll be proud someday.

 Mel Garcia
May 15, 2019
University of Maine
700
https://unsplash.com/photos/5rL71DCxn7s

Momma, oh how I wish you could be here with me, how I wish we could connect, end to end but you're not. You've been gone a long time now and I can't help but feel as though you've missed something. Not just something but everything: graduations, grandchildren, and so, so much more. We all miss you but I feel that my pain is somehow unique. Today I unpacked my things to start my new life and I lost your watch. I only lost it for a few minutes but it felt like you had slipped right through my hands, it's all I have. I don't have memories of you, not really anyway, and I was much too young to understand the value of keeping the memories I did have. I miss you, that I do know.

I still cry when I think of you, so many years later, I still mourn you and I can't help but think that makes me weak, but it shouldn't. I should be proud that I grew into the empathic daughter who feels everything in such a deep manner to that it nearly destroys me, I should understand that feeling isn't so bad and that you'd want me to understand all feelings, not just the ones that feel good. I have felt so many things about you over the last seventeen, nearly eighteen years but the one that's never faltered is my love for you and for people.

I feel love so intensely that it sometimes brings me immense pain but I believe you would've wanted it this way. You would've wanted me to know all things, and that includes pain. I have felt pain day in and day out, from my losing you to my very first heartbreak, I felt it all and I continue to because it all matters, just like every moment we had together matters.

I may not be able to remember much but I cherish the little things I do because I loved you, I still do, and I promise I always will. You are not just my mother but my hero, the more I learn about you, the more I learn about myself, where I came from and where I'm meant to be. I hope I make you proud and I hope you can forgive me for the moments that I didn't, I was learning and I still am. I will never be the perfect daughter but I'll always be your little girl. I love you momma and I hope that'll always be enough.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

10 Etsy Father's Day Gifts Under $40 To Support Your Dad And Small Businesses

Stores may still be closed, but the internet is still wide open. So, while you're already shopping online check out Etsy for your Father's Day needs and support small creators.

UNC Greensboro
@etsy

As June approaches, Father's Day is coming up quickly with it. While they may not ask for much, it's always a nice gesture to give your dad something special to share your appreciation. Although, at the same time, it might be difficult to find the perfect gift either for their humor or that will be practical.

On a normal occasion, it's simple to find a gift for your father figures in stores, but for the times we're currently in our access has become very limited. Small and independent businesses need help now more than ever, so what better time than now to support them? If you're still stuck on what to give for Father's Day, look to this list for some inspiration that won't hurt your wallet too much.

Keep Reading... Show less
identities
Health and Wellness

5 Helpful, Effective Mental Health Resources Specifically For The Black Community

These organizations are qualified, caring, and acknowledging the mental trauma individuals are experiencing.

Unsplash

On May 25, George Floyd died after being pinned to the ground by a Minneapolis police officer. In the last week, protests have sprung up across the nation, demanding justice for Floyd and accountability for police brutality. Social media has also seen widespread conversation regarding Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and racism in the United States. Today is #BlackoutTuesday, where many are sharing a single black square to represent unity and support for Black voices.

In light of the heavy climate that our country is facing, it is a safe assumption that many individuals' mental health may be suffering. We wanted to highlight mental health resources and organizations that are Black-owned and prepared to assist in whatever you're going through.

Keep Reading... Show less
mental health
Lifestyle

15 Black-Owned Haircare Brands That Cater As Much To Inclusivity As They Do To Your Locks

Championing Black entrepreneurs who make some of our hair favorites.

@briogeo

The haircare industry is vast. With the rise of social media came hundreds of thousands of empowered, niche brands. Single entrepreneurs came out of the woodwork with hair brands that now, years later, have dedicated cult followings.

Of those multitudes of brands, few cater to all hair types, most made without regard for curly or coily hair. These brands, however, are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
beauty
Swoon

4 Women Of Color Share How Racism Affects Their Dating Lives, And Everyone Needs To Listen

"My race is typically a factor in almost everything I do, and with dating, it's no different."

Shanique Wright on Unsplash

Racism affects the daily lives of people of color in the United States, and other parts of the world, in some capacity every day. When it comes to dating and relationships, this is unfortunately no different.

Keep Reading... Show less
single life
Entertainment

13 Movies And Shows On Netflix Directed By Black Men And Women You Need To Watch Now

Take the time right now to watch these fantastic films and TV shows directed by Black men and women.

Netflix

Netflix is notorious for getting us insanely addicted to watching TV and films. From documentaries, true crime, reality, and fiction, we get very sucked in.

Right now the American people are fighting for the lives of our Black brothers and sisters, so instead of watching "The Office" for the 30th time, take the time to watch these 13 films and TV shows directed by Black men and women.

Keep Reading... Show less
tv and film
Health and Wellness

11 Butt Exercises That May Look Ridiculous, But Make A BOOTYful Impact On Your Glutes

No basic squats here!

The State University of New York at Stony Brook
@fabletics

I love working out, it makes me feel great. It helps my mood, sleep schedule and I just feel overall healthier. Recently I wanted to focus more on my glutes than I previously had been. At the gym, I would just go to the squat bar to do my thing and call it a day. But since we have been home in quarantine I feel like squats just aren't doing it for me but even if I love doing them. Doing squats I always have felt does more for banging my thighs than it ever did for my butt. It made them so big, which I didn't mind except I felt it made my butt look pretty much the same. Straying from squats, and the fact that gyms will probably remain closed for a while, sent me on a fitness journey to see what other exercises I could do at home with no or very little equipment needed. Hopefully, these exercises will help keep your booty banging.

1. Diamond Leg Lifts

Keep Reading... Show less
fitness
Lifestyle

10 Podcasts On Race Everyone Should Listen To In Order To Be A Better Ally

Listen and learn, because knowledge is power.

Unsplash

Podcasts are such an integral part of some of our everyday lives that it can be hard to recall a time at which they didn't exist. Podcasts exist on about every single topic, from dating to celebrity gossip and Harry Potter.

Now more than ever, it's likely you're reeling from the news, and (hopefully) wanting to do something about it in order to educate yourself. Podcasts are one of the best ways to get the most up-to-date information in a conversational, personal way from some of today's top educators, scholars, and theorists.

Keep Reading... Show less
identities
Swoon

Stop Pitying Me Because I'm Single, I'm Very Happy With My Relationship With Myself

I don't need your opinions on why I'm single and you're not. We are two different people.

Pennsylvania State University
Hannah Busing on Unsplash

I'm so happy for my friends when they get into relationships, but that doesn't mean they get to have control over my love life, and that is what bothers me. For the record, I've been in four relationships, one lasting for three years, so I do understand relationships.

Keep Reading... Show less
single life
Facebook Comments