Recently, I read the article "How 'Modest is Hottest' Is Hurting Christian Women" published online at Christianity Today. It got me thinking about how I have personally been hurt by this phrase throughout my life as a Christian woman.

I was raised in a conservative Christian home, went to church every Sunday, and attended a private Christian school from 6-12th grade. Modesty was always impressed heavily upon me long before I even hit puberty. I distinctly remember one of the most oppressive lectures I received about modesty was after my senior high school homecoming dance. At the Christian school I attended, the girls were given a strict dress code about what dresses they were and weren't allowed to wear. Dresses had to be as high on the neck as a closed palm-width from the collarbone. Dresses had to reach the top of the knee. They could not be too tight. They could not be backless. They could not show any cleavage whatsoever. That year, I wore a modest black and white dress with a ruffle skirt, a dress that I had picked out with my very conservative mother's earned approval. I even bought it two sizes large to make sure it was long enough, and then paid extra money for alterations to have it taken in at the sides. That year, I won homecoming queen and couldn't be happier.

That is, until, I showed up at school the following Monday. A note was taped to my locker, along with the lockers of several other girls, requiring us to attend a mandatory meeting with our principal. During this meeting, we were told by two authority figures in our school that we were not honoring God because of the immodesty of our homecoming dresses. We were making our brothers in Christ stumble and plundering our own dignity and worth. If we weren't completely covered up, then we were sexual objects. It was black and white. There was no room for discussion. As a senior in my high school (and I also happened to be student council president and homecoming queen), I felt it was necessary for me to stand up for my fellow young women in that room. I explained how truly difficult (if not nearly impossible) it was to find a homecoming dress on the market today that met the school's modesty criteria. I am 5'7" with a small frame, so finding a homecoming dress that would reach the top of my knee...? I'd have more luck finding a four leaf clover. I explained that none of us were trying to be provocative and that all of our mothers had approved our dresses prior to the dance, which should count for something. Yet, I was quickly shot down and even condemned for failing to set the standard of modesty for the rest of the girls.

Leaving that meeting, the girls walked with their heads down, feeling ashamed, embarrassed, squelched, and disheartened. Suddenly, we didn't feel confident or beautiful anymore. We just felt like something that had to be hidden from the public's eye.

This meeting has forever been pressed into my memory as the moment I realized I hated modesty. I hated the implications it carried in the Christian circle. I hated the harsh, judgmental tones reprimanding me for exposing too much of my God-given body. I hated that the quality of my faith was determined by the length of my shorts. From this moment, I have been passionate about standing up for the rights of women to not be ashamed of their figure, but to cherish it, to respect it, to be proud of it, and to adorn it in whatever way they wish. I do not believe God gave anyone the right to judge or criticize the way a woman presents herself. That's His job.

Of course, I believe God intended for us to appreciate one another and give appropriate advice when necessary--that's a part of loving one another. However, I can never agree that covering up every square inch of my body is somehow more honoring to God than if I was to wear a bikini to the beach. My dignity and worth in His eyes is the same no matter what, and it is between me and Him to determine what is an appropriate way to present myself. Perhaps my opinion is controversial, but I felt it needed to be spoken. Instead of telling young girls "Modest is Hottest," let's tell them, "Your worth is not dependent on what you wear."

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7