I Am A Feminist (Unless I Am Playing Clue and We’re Choosing Who Gets to Be Miss Scarlet)
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I Am A Feminist (Unless I Am Playing Clue and We’re Choosing Who Gets to Be Miss Scarlet)

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I Am A Feminist (Unless I Am Playing Clue and We’re Choosing Who Gets to Be Miss Scarlet)

The feel of unity and sisterhood in the feminist movement is unparalleled.

To be able to participate in a time where the disenfranchisement of women is not only highly publicized, but is actually producing professional and legal repercussions, means we are building a future in which women can unapologetically not only inhabit the world, but succeed in it. It is one of my dreams to one day raise a daughter, and I feel supported in building a future where she may craft her life without being limited by the outdated public perception of stereotypical femininity.

It has also made me more connected to women in collaborative capacities. We're trained from birth to feel competitive with other women – to compare and contrast our abilities and appearances – but it is becoming rapidly evident that this ruse was designed in order to hinder the possibility of women's collective success. Together, women are able to prosper professionally, creatively, and communally. We're especially effective in matters of problem-solving, even in something casual. Like a game. Like the murder mystery board game Clue!

According to online aficionado Board Game Geek:

"In Clue, players move from room to room in a mansion to solve the mystery of: who done it, with what, and where? Players are dealt character, weapon, and location cards after the top card from each card type is secretly placed in the confidential file in the middle of the board."

And if I don't get to be Miss Scarlet, I'm gonna fucking lose it.

I am continually honored to be exposed to the intellect of women – its precision, its efficacy, the silent CIA-level manipulation we are trying to do as a group in order to justify our assignment of the hot one while also making it clear We Don't Really Care It Is Only A Game Haha :). The first of us might send out a cautionary "I'm always Miss Scarlet", maybe colored with a casual laugh in order to achieve peak It's Not Really A Big Deal. Or perhaps look down at the clothes we came in and say, as though we have only just noticed them, "Oh, look! I'm even wearing red right now. Haha that's crazy."

And Lizzie I swear to God if you pull that shit where you look at me and are like "I feel like you just, like, are Miss Peacock. Right?? Like I just get that vibe from you!" I will foam at the mouth. You know my crush is here, and you want to put the image of me as that old bitch in his head? (Infantilizing women's sexuality and this idea that the older you are, the less sexually desirable you are is a misogynistic conceit that we need to work on as a culture - but you think the dumbass 25-year-old guy I like who talks about how "different brands of beer actually DO taste different" is gonna be aware of that?? USE YOUR HEAD, LIZZIE. LET ME BE THE THICC RED DRESS LADY THIS ONE FUCKING TIME.)



Lizzie. Come on.


While there are certainly more hurdles in the feminist movement – inclusion, diversity in cultural conversations, Lizzie weirdly trying to put me down in front of Michael even though she knows I like him – we will conquer them. We have the determination, grit, acumen, sensitivity, and intuition to continue to craft a world where our being overpowered is simply impossible.

And if I don't get to be Miss Scarlet, I will eat that red game piece. I will pop it in my mouth like a Tic Tac and swallow it whole without blinking. Try me. I don't give a fuck.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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