I miss you all the time. I miss your laugh, your smile, your jokes, our little games, and stupid nicknames. I miss all the fun times we shared. I miss my best friend.

I miss you a lot and it hurts. It hurts to think of all the promises we made that we had to break. It hurts knowing I hurt you and that we will never be the same. But I guess that is life, we live and we learn, and we outgrow some people.

I miss you and I want to tell you but I cannot because it doesn’t matter. We grew up, we changed, and we are not the same people we used to be. So even if I told you, we would still never be the same because we are not the same people anymore.

I could tell you I miss you and we could try and be friends but it doesn’t matter, we will just end up hurting each other again. So I could tell you how I feel but it would not matter because we are not the same anymore.

I could tell you I still hold onto faith that one day we will be able to be friends again. I could tell you how sometimes there is a physical pain in my heart from where I miss you so much. I could tell you sometimes I stay up at night wondering if you are okay.

I could tell you I ask God to look out for you and to protect you because I know you have already gone through so much. I could tell you how much better my day gets and how my stomach gets in knots when I speak to you, even if it is for just a minute. I could tell you how sad I get when something major has happened in my life and I want to share it with you but I feel like I can’t.

I could tell you how scary it is for me that you may not care about me anymore. I could tell you I will never stop caring about you and how I will always want the best for you. I could tell you all of these things and so much more but I won’t, because it doesn’t matter anymore.

I miss you but I will not tell you. I want you to be happy more than anything. I could tell you I miss you and I miss my best friend but what good would come of it? I could tell you I pray for you every single night. I could tell you exactly how I feel and tell you everything I have always wanted to. I could tell you how I would give so much just to have my friend back but it doesn’t matter. You are happy and that is all I ever want you to be, even if it is without me.

I could tell you I miss you but you don’t miss me too. We have closed the door on what was and now we must keep moving forward. So I will not tell you I miss you because it doesn’t matter.