There is nothing that makes my confidence falter faster than when someone I love and trust misgenders me. Sometimes it's accidental and the people I love work to correct themselves and do better the next time, but that isn't always the case.

Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's friends, sometimes it's coworkers, and sometimes it isn't an accident. Sometimes it's intentional and when that's the case, it's always brutal. It always hurts longer than you want it to.

Laverne Cox, a "proud African-American, transgender artist", has stated many times that misgendering trans people, especially intentionally, is a direct act of violence -- and, she's right.

Misgendering, calling someone by the wrong pronouns or honorifics, leads to feelings of isolation, discomfort, anxiety, and rejection. This can often cause psychological harm to trans people and put a stunt in their road of transitioning if that is what they have chosen for themselves.

Personally, I identify as nonbinary and use they, them, and their pronouns. I'm not out to everyone, especially some family after a horrible incident with one of my siblings.

Then I have my other siblings, as uncomfortable as it makes all of us, refer to me by my assigned pronouns at birth and my dead name when among family who do not know of my identity. They are not intentionally misgendering me to be malicious - they are doing it because I feel it is necessary for my own safety.

On the other hand, I have family who knows about my pronouns and name and blatantly refuses to use them. I have put up a fight with these family members, a fight I am quickly becoming exhausted from, and I don't think it registers to them how awful it makes me feel. I don't just hear myself being misgendered and deadnamed, I hear exactly what you think of trans people and, more personally, what you think of me being trans.

So, here are five things I hear between the lines when you intentionally misgender me.

Now, I do not believe that these five things are what is trying to be implied, but your intent means nothing to me when the impact is harmful to everything I am and everything I stand for. Do better, be better. If you want to stick around in my life, you have to accept the fact that I am trans nonbinary or you cannot stay any longer. I am done with trying to prove myself to people, especially to those who never tried to support or accept me in the first place.

I am not asking a lot out of you. If demanding that you stop treating me with violence and aggression, and actually care about my wellbeing and safety, is just too much for you to handle, then walk away. I promise you, I would rather you watch from the sidelines and mock me in silence than to stand in my court and pretend you're being supportive. I don't deserve it, I will never deserve it, and I'm done pretending like I do.