Minnesota Student Able To Afford Spring Semester Textbooks | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Minnesota Student Able To Afford Spring Semester Textbooks

In a miraculous victory against all odds, a student at the University of Minnesota has confirmed that he was able to purchase all of his spring semester textbooks without going bankrupt.

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Minnesota Student Able To Afford Spring Semester Textbooks

David Johnson, a junior studying business and marketing education, had been bogged-down like most other university students by the gargantuan cost of textbooks. “By the end of freshman year, I had spent all of my graduation money on textbooks,” Johnson said. “My grandmother told me to use the money she gave me exclusively on booze and now I feel like I’m letting her down. Like, books? That’s not what college is about.”

Minnesota’s bookstore, which is located inside of Coffman Memorial Union, is normally home to a frenzy of hurried students who have put off purchasing textbooks until at least the second week of class, in hopes of an extraordinary professor uttering those magical words: “not required.” But this time, Johnson separated himself from the pack.

Stunning scores of students, professors and administrators alike, Johnson was able to put away enough money to cover the cost of his textbooks for all remaining semesters after choosing the correct numbers in the Minnesota State Powerball lottery. When asked how it felt to overcome such great odds to win the lottery, Johnson replied, “Yeah, I guess I got pretty lucky. But honestly, I probably had better odds at winning the lottery than I did at paying off my textbooks.”

The jackpot that Johnson won, worth approximately $40 million, was just enough cash to cover the costs of his textbooks through to his senior year. “Most people would run out and buy a house or a nice car or something; not me, though. Knowledge is more valuable anyway, right? … Right?” Johnson stated.

Johnson joins only three other students at the U who have had the necessary funds to walk out of the bookstore with an intact spirit — and bank account — this semester.

Other students have begun to notice Johnson’s fortunate luck, however, and have decided to attempt to pay for “school supplies” in a similarly extreme fashion. Kate Aaron, a freshman in CEHD, is reportedly taking her second semester off in order to study the game of poker and subsidize her textbook payments that way. If successful, she is unsure whether she will return to school at all.

Other than gambling, it seems the only method students across the nation have used to afford their textbooks has been successfully winning a school-sponsored “half-court shot” contest where contestants win a scholarship for draining a basketball shot, like this student from Ball State.

Whichever method students choose to use to pay for textbooks, Johnson’s solution certainly is not the most radical. Indeed, his lotto victory was simply a signal of a trend that reflects the desperation of students in terms of University payments.

When questioned regarding what he would do after avoiding the stress accompanied by textbook-accumulated debt, Johnson responded, “Well, OneStop just emailed me that my tuition payment is due, so I’ll direct it there.”

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