Like many women out there, I LOVE watching ABC's "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." However, these reality dating shows reinforce negative behaviors and interactions between adults.
I have often said to my friends that I would never be on The Bachelor, but I would want to be on The Bachelorette because then I would not have to compete with anyone. Most women who compete on The Bachelor become very catty and disrespectful towards each other, and while I love watching that drama unfold, I know it is unhealthy. Not only is it unhealthy for the women who are on the show to be in that environment, but it is also unhealthy for the viewers who watch the show and talk about the contestants in a negative light.
I'm guilty of doing this — I'll be watching and then I see a contestant that I don't like and I say that I hate him or her. Really, though, I don't know them. I know these shows are for our entertainment, but it is so mean to call other people names based on the hyped-up version of themselves that is portrayed on television.
These shows also set very high expectations for their viewers. The dates that they go on are fabulous — everyone looks beautiful and handsome all of the time, and the added music makes everything seem so romantic and genuine. Regular dates can be weird and unsuccessful, and while I hold the traditional belief that men should occasionally give women flowers, most people don't get a red rose at the end of every date.
Now let's talk about this season of The Bachelor. I think Arie is a sweetheart and a gentleman, but he took Krystal to meet his parents during week two. On this show, that doesn't usually happen until week seven or eight, and in the real world that (hopefully) doesn't happen on the first date that two people have together — especially in this day and age, where people are hooking up through apps. It would be so uncomfortable for everyone!
Imagine going on a first date with someone that you met on Tinder and going to their house for some more ALONE time (wink wink), and then seeing their parents and siblings just casually waiting for you in the living room. What do you do? Shake their hands and say "hello, I'm about to rock your son or daughter's world and then never talk to them again because of this awkward encounter"? That is absolutely what should NOT happen because you do NOT bring someone to meet your family on a first, second, or even third date!
Don't get me wrong — I love this show, and I want to be treated the way that women are treated on the show, with elegant and extravagant dates while the man is being genuine, polite, sweet, and respectful. But that doesn't always happen, and bad dates and relationships are a part of life and are great learning experiences.
Yes, I will continue to watch this season and every season afterwards, but I will try to be more mindful of what I think about the contestants and what my expectations are for future dates.
