When I was younger, dating was something that always excited me. My friends and I would watch and rewatch movies like Dear John and The Vow, dreaming of the days that we would fall in love and have our own Channing Tatum’s sending us heartfelt letters. Flash forward a few years later and I definitely haven’t found my very own Channing Tatum. Heartfelt letters are also out of the picture, I mean c’mon, I can’t even seem to get a text back. The lack of existing Channing Tatum’s and romantic love letters is not the only thing I hate about dating. As a millennial, dating in the 21st century is entirely more frustrating than rewarding. The list as to why, dating in the 21st century is in fact, more frustrating than rewarding, could literally go on forever, but below are the 5 most significant reasons:
1. All responses are thought out and calculated.
In the 21st century, one main component of dating is not seeming too interested or too accessible. Responding to texts or snapchats right away makes one party seem desperate. As a result, we withhold our responses and purposely elongate when we will respond, as a way to show that we are busy and unattached. When in reality, we are probably sitting there waiting for the time to pass so we can, in fact, reply without seeming like we are initiating a marriage proposal. Waiting to watch the person you are interested in's Snapchat story and waiting 10 minutes to text back, when one of the benefits of text messaging is that it makes communication instant, is complete bullshit. Ultimately, it just adds to the confusion and creates mixed signals.
2. Texts literally need to be decoded.
Not only, are responses clearly thought out and calculated before they are sent, but often times the party on the receiving end has to decode them. Because it would be way too simple to call the person you are interested in or to just tell them exactly what you mean/how you feel, right? Instead, he will hit you with the “I’ll just see what you are up to later.” And then you won’t hear from him for hours, all the while wondering if you have definitive plans or if he will “see what you are up to” if his other plans fall through.
3. Everything is about sex.
‘Dating’ apps, such as Tinder, have made sex readily available with one swipe of a finger and as a result, have made dating less about getting to know someone and more about getting to know someone’s bed. It seems that millennials are increasingly focused on sex and therefore there seems to be little effort made to get to know someone unless they are willing to undress. And even then, rarely does the sex lead to a healthy, stable, relationship.
4. Caring the least has become an Olympic sport. Okay not really, but if millennials had a choice it would.
These days, dating has essentially become a competition based on who can care the least. Showing actual emotion is frowned upon and in the 21st century. Even if you are interested it is typically considered best to act like you are not. Showing or saying exactly how you feel towards a person is a big no-no in the rule books of many millennials which make dating harder for all of us.
5. DUBBING.
Okay, now this one goes hand in hand with many of the other aforementioned reasons but it is by far the most frustrating. Firstly, Urban Dictionary defines dubbing as “to talk to someone heavy one day and then completely ignore them the next making them question their existence.” Basically, you could talk to the same person for weeks or months on end and then all of a sudden they just decide to end communication without rhyme or reason. In another instance, it could mean that the person you are interested in just ignores you. For example, if I text a boy that I am interested in and he doesn’t reply but then posts multiple snapchats on his story, that is him “dubbing” me. Many millennials have mastered the art of dubbing and even leave their read receipts on so the other party knows that they are in fact being dubbed.
