I've suffered (yes, I meant to use the word "suffered.") with migraines for over twenty years. Getting over one right now, in fact. I hate them. I go at most three days between attacks. They have completely made it impossible to plan ahead. So, today, I decided to look for the humor in the situation by looking at migraines' silver linings.
Extra days off work!
Of course, you'll be so stressed out that everyone thinks you're lying, or that they are going to fire you for being out all the time, you won't relax and rest like you need to to get rid of it, but, hey, you still get that day off, amirite?
Always wanted to try drugs? Now you can!
Relpax, Maxalt, Imitrex, Amerge, Toprol, Topamax, Botox, Sphenocath, and many, many more can all be yours. You can literally use the phrase, "experimenting with drugs" with a straight face now.You get pills galore. You may even get to shoot up. And you'll be making the pharmaceutical companies RICH off of you while you try to figure out what works for you and what doesn't.
You'll really get to know the people in your community.
You will have the opportunity to bond with so many people in your community (which has now been expanded to include your on-line community as well), because EVERYONE (except you and your doctor) know what will cure your migraines. This may be my very favorite thing about having migraines.
All those annoying social events you always go back and forth about attending? No more dithering here.
When you have migraines, you no longer make plans, because most of the time you will have to cancel them. But, what's great is that you can tell your host ahead of time that you would love to come, assuming you don't have a migraine that evening. It's a ready made cover story. Of course, I've never needed to use it-I always really do have the migraine.
Learning new vocabulary
Migraineur. Enough said.
Afraid of peer pressure when it comes to drinking?
No worries. With migraines, it's simple. You drink, you get a migraine.
Need some time away from the kids?
When a migraine strikes, you could be shut up in your room, curtains closed, in total silence for days. Almost as good as a spa, only the spa doesn't come with the crippling guilt. Take that, spa!
You know how people always complain about paying so much for health insurance and never even using it? That won't be you.
You're gonna meet that deductible every year! You go, girl!
Having weight trouble?
Not with migraines! Even if yours don't make you actively vomit, you'll be so nauseous or knocked out by the meds, you'll miss meals.
Migraineurs (see? I told you it was a cool word) have the power to single handedly make the Number 2 pencil trend again.
As discussed above, we can't really reliably make plans, so we "pencil them in," thus saving an entire industry. We could probably take credit for a partial reduction in carbon emissions, too, since we often feel to crappy to go anywhere.
Migraines often occur with people who also have depression.
Buy one, get one. I love a good sale!
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