There’s a familiar saying about love making the world go round. With the advent of cheaper and more convenient travel methods, not to mention the boundary-hopping possibilities of Internet communication, love itself can easily span the globe. Everything from holidaymakers to students on gap years to the advent of online dating have all contributed to the blurring of national barriers when it comes to relationships. So what are the important points to keep in mind when it comes to actually dating someone from a different country or culture to your own?
It can be tempting to condense everything you know (or don’t know) about a particular nationality into a series of convenient bite-sized chunks. Perhaps you might go along with the popular preconceptions about laid-back Scandinavians, fiery Mediterraneans, disciplined Germans or binge-drinking English. While there may be individuals within any of these countries in possession of these character traits, the key word here is individuals. You won’t get far in your relationship if you pay undue attention to lazy assumptions.
It would be worth examining some of the more common notions to consider exactly how grounded in truth they might be, and where those ideas originated in the first place. Understanding the world of difference between preconceptions and facts will help improve your own approach to international dating.
So how about those Scandinavians? Say you come across a guy from Stockholm in a chat room, or you happen to be on holiday in Copenhagen. This person wants to make contact with you. Guaranteed that before you even enter into a fluid conversation you’ll already be thinking of a caricature. He’ll most likely have blond hair, and the descriptive words most readily springing to mind are things like introversion, reticence, a tendency to be over cautious – mistrusting even – and an overall reserved personality. It would be very easy to base your judgment on those TV dramas, the so-called Nordic Noir thrillers, where dark crimes are commited against a backdrop of snow-blanketed landscapes and grey buildings, while the investigating officers are invariably flawed individuals with alcohol issues. These cop shows are, of course, fictitious, and a murder is hardly any less dark because it takes place on a Caribbean beach.
But it is interesting how quickly cliches can create a distorted picture. By actually engaging with this guy on your dating site, or in an alcove in a Danish bar, you’ll quickly learn how important it is not to allow preconceived ideas to cloud your opinions. One-on-one conversation is all about establishing a connection, especially if you are physically attracted to this stranger. There are much deeper layers of human contact that cultural or language barriers – the wonderful chemistry that can be concocted when we meet someone new who gives us butterflies in the stomach. In no time at all those ideas of hesitant Scandinavians might evaporate as he begins to unashamedly flirt with you.
What about German men? Known for being hardworking, sometimes control-freaks, the common assumption is Teutonic boyfriends will always arrive punctually, timed to the very minute, and they’ll frown on a partner who appears disorganized. When it comes to telling jokes, expect polite chuckles rather than outbursts of laughter; sometimes you may need to explain the punchline.
But the German guy you get chatting to during your city break to Berlin might not conform to any of these traits. He could just as likely be scatter-brained or prone to spontaneity. But the thing with stereotypes is there is often a kernel of truth in there somewhere. Whatever that might be, it’s up to you to decide the extent to which you can ignore it. An excellent overview of what you can really expect when you date a guy from Germany can be found if you visit this site.
In summary, Northern Europeans have a habit of being more restrained than their Latin counterparts. Men in Italy, Spain and France have a reputation for being far more expressive with their body language, perhaps prone to bursting into song or making other romantic gestures. But love will conquer all, especially when it comes to international barriers, imaginary or not.
