Before I begin writing, I want to state that I am by no means a professional on dealing with disabled children, whether they be physical or mental. I am no where near it. I am simply someone who has a passion for working with special needs children and adults and helping them grow into wonderful people. I have volunteered in a special needs high school classroom for an hour a day all through my senior year and I've worked with special needs children in a post-secondary school as well. They have made such a wonderful impact on my life.I haven't spent much time with these types of young adults have shown me some things and I think it is really important that people get a little taste of my learnings.

Don't Stare

Have you ever had something embarrassing happen to you in public? Say you fall down in a funny way. You get up, look around, and see that everyone is looking at you. You start to feel embarrassed. That feeling falls deep into your stomach, turning into shame and grabbing a little fear on its way down. Or think about if you're just having a bad hair day and there is nothing you can do to fix it. You look in the mirror and try to get it to be better, but it's not. You walk round the entire day thinking that everyone is looking at you, judging you, and laughing on the inside.

This is how I believe these young adults feel when you stare at them in public or wherever you are. I have seen it with my own eyes. I can see the nervousness and that feeling of being uncomfortable sneak across their eyes. No one should ever feel this way. No matter if they are disabled or not.

I understand that sometimes people may not be staring with judgmental eyes, they could simply be trying to figure out the situation. Maybe, they are simply interested in the person as a human being and they just want to talk to them. I am guilty of this sometimes because my heart has a soft spot for the disabled. But we all have to remember that there is a fine line that we have to be careful to not tiptoe so close to. If you want to speak with them, go ahead! More times than not, they'll be happy that you came up and talked. Compliment their outfit or hair, or talk about the crazy weather or something in your surroundings. If they become uncomfortable, back off and allow them their space, just like you would for anyone else.

Treat Them As Equals

No one likes to be treated like they are under someone or like they are something different than someone else. No one wants to be treated like they are something "odd" or that they deserve special treatment. People with disabilities are special because they are unique in their own special ways, but they are no different than anyone of us. They deserve the same amount of respect, dignity, love, and kindness that you would expect for yourself and your children. They have a heart, just like everyone else. That is enough for them to be equal as you. Everyone should love everyone, no matter what.

Don't Use Them To Make You Look Better

Time and time again, I have seen people befriend a disabled person so that they can take the pictures and make it look like they are great people. Taking a picture and doing the fun things with special needs people doesn't make you a good person. If you aren't taking the extra time with them, teaching them new aspects of life, helping them learn lessons, adding discipline, or encouraging their lives to be better, you aren't doing any good for them, or yourself. The pictures show what you want to portray, but they don't show the truth. Be a good person and don't treat them as a charity case or a photo opp.

Don't Use The R Word

Nothing on this entire planet grinds my gears more than when people use the "R word" (this word I am referring to is "retarded"). Simply typing the word fuels a fire in me that I cannot put out. When people say it around me, my entire body tightens up and that fire starts to burn again. In what world is it acceptable to turn a medical term into a degrading term? Mental retardation is a condition diagnosed before age 18, usually in infancy or prior to birth, that includes below-average general intellectual function, and a lack of the skills necessary for daily living. When onset occurs at age 18 or after, it is called dementia, which can coexist with an MR diagnosis.

So, explain to me how it is OK to use this word to: 1. Make fun of other people, 2. Make fun of people diagnosed with such a condition, or 3. Take it as a joke. There is simply no explanation behind it. It falls into the same category as someone who is physically disabled being called names such as "crippled" or "gimp". This word is offensive on new levels and if it could simply be removed from the English dictionary, in regards to the shortened, derogatory term, life would be much easier. I have seen the looks on kid's faces when people use this term around them. They tense up, become upset, and cower down. It is sad to see and if anyone thinks it is just a term, please, witness that sight and tell me that it's just a medical term.

All in all, special needs children and adults are the same as you and I. They are wonderful people with hearts larger than any I have ever seen before. I know that my life has been changed for the better due to these wonderful people having a part in it. I am forever thankful that I have been exposed to the chances to interact with them on the level that I have and I encourage everyone to reach out and do the same. They touch your heart and your life with this goodness and happiness that I simply don't think you can find anywhere else. So, treat them as equals, don't stare, don't use them to make you look better, and never, ever, use the R word.