Middle Man
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

Middle Man

A battle of "who I want to be" vs. "who I am".

28
Middle Man
my photo

As a twenty-year-old girl, it is safe to say that I have had my fair share of insecurities and self-worth issues brought to light over the span of my life. I am brought into the interrogation room over and over again, in hopes that maybe this time the light is shed on my faults that it won't hurt nearly as bad. However, that is not always the case.

I am constantly in this battle with myself of "who I want to be" versus "who I actually am".

Confidence in teenage girls and boys, unfortunately, is an endangered species. It's even becoming a social norm that we analyze and pick ourselves apart to the point where we don't feel good about ourselves, that we are not enough for ourselves. And if we are not enough for ourselves, how could we possibly be enough for the people around us?

Well, I set out on a mission to make this "not enough" nonexistent.

Unfortunately, my efforts to vanquish not being enough took a turn for the worst, and I got stuck with the other evil stepsister of this idea that a person can be "too much". Here's the thing: I have a lot of feelings, and often times, this isn't really seen as a fatal flaw, but it is something I am constantly struggling with due to the sheer fact that people in my life have told me I can be "too much" to handle because

I feel too much.

I am too sure of what I want.

I am swimming out into the deep end too quickly.

You see, I am certain of the things that I am looking for and the things that I need in order to reach my full potential as a person in the world and as a servant in the Kingdom of God. I have priorities that I am not willing to compromise because I know what God has called me to do. I am passionate about my calling and about the people who are going to be in my life as I do my best to fulfill that. So, if I feel a certain way about somebody or something, I'm going, to be honest about it. But here's the tricky part:

Sometimes, people are not always ready to hear how you feel. Sometimes, people don't want to know how you feel.Sometimes, people will tell you that what you're feeling is too much--that you are too much.

For a long time, I was constantly trying to find the balance between these two "evils" because maybe if I found a happy medium, I'd be the perfect amount of person for the people in my life.

NEWSFLASH: YOU ARE ALREADY THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF PERSON, AND IF PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU DIFFERENT, THOSE ARE NOT THE PEOPLE THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE.

So, yeah I feel a lot.

So, yeah, I am sure of what I want.

So, yeah, I am ready to tread the water. I am ready to be who my maker created me to be.

He didn't create us in a box, so why should we keep putting ourselves there? We are simply enough, not because our friends tell us so, not because our family tells us so, not because our teachers or peers tell us so, but simply because God tells us so. The happy medium between these two ideas of image destruction isn't possible if we are trying to be something that we are not. The happy medium is understanding that God loved us enough THEN to make our personalities individualized and unique, and that he loves us enough NOW to be our middle man when we can't find the perfect balance.

"Do this because you are a people set apart as holy to God, your God. God, your God, chose you out of all the people on Earth for himself as a cherished, personal treasure." (Deuteronomy 7:6)

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

9 Things Tall People Are Tired Of Hearing

Yep. The weather is fine up here... I've totally never heard that before.

367
pexels

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being tall. Sometimes I even wish I was taller. One of the downsides of being tall however, is having to put up with ridiculous questions and statements. I can assure that all tall people are tired of being asked what the weather is like "up here", but here are a few other things we don't want to hear anymore.

Keep Reading... Show less

We truly love it here in the Badger State. Here are a few things Wisconsinites can relate to.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Five Types Of People In Fall

From yummy pumpkin spice lattes to scary movies, fall has it all and then some.

1998
Destination Logan County Illinois

Oh fall, the most marvelous time of year...right? Every approaches fall differently, some pumpkin spice-tastically and some not so enthusiastically. We can't all be Autumn lovers, so here are five types of people in fall. Grab a cup of hot coca, sit back, and enjoy.

Keep Reading... Show less
https://unsplash.com/photos/XdbUsFkAwqA

If you're like me, by this time of year you're over summer. The beach, the sunshine, and the heat were all great, but now we're itching for blanket scarves, football, and pumpkin spice EVERYTHING! As the new season approaches, your relationship can benefit from some old traditional dates and some new fresh ideas! Here are a couple great date ideas for you and your boo to try out this fall.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

Social Media Or Soul Media

To the generation that cares way too much about affirmation.

4855
Emma Smith
  • This semester I am taking the ever so famous class, Writing 101. Walking into it, I had heard the horror stories about each major assignment. I have to admit, it’s not a class that I am fond of. But, major assignment #2 got me thinking, we had to create a research question based off of a topic that we are interested in.

Two weeks prior, I watched a very interesting documentary on Netflix. Miss Representation was recommended to me by one of my friends and I have to say the topic is absolutely mind blowing. Social Media and Female Body Image. How Social Media makes girls see this unnatural perfection of ‘beauty’ that really doesn’t exist. But female body image isn’t the only thing affected by social media.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments