the downfalls to interracial marriages

Michelle Williams' Fiance Threw Mental Illness In Her Face, And This Is My Issue With Interracial Relationships

Michelle, GET OUT!

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"It doesn't matter if you're black, white, green, yellow." Those were the words uttered from white-Chad's mouth as attempted to defend himself for calling his fiance, Michelle Williams' crazy for acknowledging their racial differences.

Comments like that honestly always leave me weak. It's the white man's go-to defense any time one of their thousands of micro-aggressions are called out. Like, in what part of the world are there green or yellow people, Mr. Oppressor?

Okay, let me back up for a moment.

For those of you who don't know, former Destiny Child, Michelle Williams, is engaged to white-Chad, a.k.a, Chad Johnson, and they have a reality show on the OWN Network. Personally, I've never watched it because I just seemed...you know. But a recent clip did catch my eye and I went ahead and watched the first two episodes.

The premise of "Chad Loves Michelle" seems to center around the religious couple's relationship, and since Chad proposed in the first episode, their road to marriage. They meet one another's family, consult a marriage counselor, and I guess...bond. Evidently, there was one huge thing that the couple somehow managed to gloss over until now, and I am truly weirded out. Race has apparently never come up. Michelle is black and white-Chad is, well, white. (Which actually did surprise me. For whatever reason, I assumed he was bi-racial. )

Well, in this clip Michelle recounts an argument the couple recently had. She had said something to him, and he was offended but her tone. According to Michelle, she tried to explain that her tone was "cultural," as opposed to offensive. You know, "that's just how black people talk." And that he just wasn't used to that type of speech because maybe he hadn't been around enough black people to know the difference. Anyways, White-Chad's response was, "did you take your meds today?" referencing his fiance's recent stint in a mental health facility for depression.

Michelle had recently been open about her battles with depression, and at one point it goes so bad that she voluntarily checked herself into a hospital.

When she said that he should "never go there," in regards to making light of her depression, his response was "you should never go there with black and white." Meaning, their racial differences should never be brought up.

Their therapist, who happened to be black, clearly agreed with Michelle that sometimes black people can be loud or expressive, but that it doesn't necessarily mean they are angry or upset. And I am sure every black woman in the history of dealing with white people has dealt with the same judgment and assumption --- I sure have.

You know what I see here? Classic white male fragility and gaslighting. I guess even "men of God" have no problem acting a whole entire ass.

Race will never not be an issue in interracial relationships. Cultural differences DO exist. And some of those differences, language included, do lend themselves to problems in a relationship. How you deal with those problems is the real test, and white-Chad failed.

Everyone sees color and anyone saying they don't is lying. There is nothing wrong with seeing color. As a matter of fact, people of color want you to recognize that we have differences. We want you to embrace our difference, not ignore them and we definitely don't want to be treated as less than because of them. Saying that "color" should not be brought up in an interracial relationship is punk-shit. What that means is that someone is afraid of getting their feelings hurt. It means that someone is now responsible for checking their own micro-aggression's.

Pretending racial differences don't exist is ignoring that person's culture, history and part of what makes them, them. What is white-Chad going to do when he has a black child? How is he going to talk to his son about why someone called him a "nigger?" How is he going to talk to his daughter about why white people keep putting their hands in her hair? He won't be able to because he spent the entirety of his relationship with a black woman learning nothing about black people. How is he going to talk to his children about what it means to be bi-racial in America when they are old enough to recognize the two sides of their identity?

I know that the dating world is hard and that the pool seems to get smaller and smaller, especially for educated and well-to-do women, so this isn't to say that I hate interracial couples. But I can only support the healthy ones. The ones in which the partner-of-color feels supported and is truly understood. And the white partner has taken it upon themselves to truly understand why this needs to be and has educated themselves enough to know their place is in their own lane!

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12 Signs You're From Jackman Maine

You know you're from Jackman just by these few things.
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1. You never lock the doors

The entire parking lot at the store is filled with running cars, all of them with the keys still in the ignition. All are so easy to steal and yet no one touches them.

2. You almost never miss a sports game

Whether you are a sports fan or not, you almost never miss a game. Either you go to watch a friend play or to hang out, there are very few games that you have missed.

3. The cold doesn't bother you

I can't tell you how many times I've gone out in 20 degree weather in a t-shirt to do chores, or have shoveled off the deck in bare feet. Almost rarely the cold seems to be a bother.

4. You own either a snowmobile or ATV

Because what else is there to do in town? Seriously?

5. You've walked down the street all night

And you know that after 5, the road is silent. Unless it's on the weekends when everyone from Quebec is driving through.

6. You go to Old Mill and not the Town Park

Let the tourists go to the park and enjoy it, we'll just enjoy our sandy little b each.

7. You LOVE going to Slidedown

If you don't love the falls, are you even from around here? How can you not love going to Slidedown?

8. The tourists are hilarious

Now we won't say that to any of them because Jackman is a tourist town and needs to have the tourism, but some of the things that people say or do are laugh worthy.

9. Everyone has seen a moose in their backyard

And I mean everyone. I've seen one walk around in the Post Office parking lot, if they're wandering around there, they will be everywhere.

10. Hunting is a way of life

So is fishing. I don't think I know anyone in town who doesn't hunt or fish.

11. Everyone is shocked at your graduating class number

Every time I tell people I graduated in a class of 11, people stare at me like I just grew horns out of my head.

12. You know everyone

Self-explanatory.

Cover Image Credit: Bill Jarvis

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If You Think Belly Dancing Is Sexual, You're Missing The Whole Point

Believe it or not, exposed stomachs aren't inherently sexual.

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What we know as belly dancing here in America started in the middle east as a way for mothers to teach their daughters how to isolate certain muscles that they would use in childbirth, thus making the process an easier one when it was their time to go through it.

This cultural dance began with mothers teaching daughters behind closed doors where men weren't allowed to watch. It's possible that this fact helped cause some of the negative stigmas behind it by people who do not know its true origin.

Long story short (because I'm not looking to place false facts in this article), belly dancing moved over to America after a while and it wasn't necessarily accepted at first. Today, there is a multitude of belly dancing styles, including belly dance fusion which combines more traditional dancing with modern takes on it by blending multiple cultures or dancing styles.

You're probably wondering why a white girl such as myself is trying to educate you on something that clearly isn't a part of my own culture. Well, for those of you who don't know (or who couldn't recognize me from the cover photo), I belly dance at my university as part of an extracurricular club.

This club is easily one that I am most passionate about. I joined the club in my first semester as a freshman and have stuck with it for the past six semesters, and plan to stick with it for my last two. I came into the club with little previous dance experience and no previous belly dance experience, much like almost everyone else I've seen come and go.

I've heard of professors at my school who said they wouldn't go to our shows because it "made him uncomfortable." Why? Because our stomachs are out and we're moving our hips? That doesn't make our dancing inherently sexual.

We have a rule within our club that if any of us go out to parties, we cannot use belly dancing moves to try to woo guys or girls. Because guess what? That's not the point of belly dancing.

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