Michael Scott has a quote for any and every occasion, and there are some that resonate more with certain Enneagram types than others. Here's a list of Enneagram feelings based on Michael Scott.
Type 1
When 1s are asked about work: "I guess I've been working so hard, I forgot what it's like to be hardly working."
When 1s see karma doing its job: "It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean."
When 1s see someone doing something without thinking: "I hate so much about the things you choose to be."
Type 2
When 2s have big and selfless hearts: "When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country! Ok?"
When 2s first meet other people: "I guess the attitude that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second and probably an entertainer third."
When 2s meet their best friend's significant other: "If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family."
Type 3
When 3s explain their intentions: "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
When 3s have an existential crisis: "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."
When 3s talk about their goals: "I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say 'no' to being my friend."
Type 4
When 4s talk about personal relationships: "Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly, we didn't connect, I was miserable. Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman."
When 4s try to connect with their emotions: "Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown."
When 4s get overwhelmed: "I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."
Type 5
When 5s talk about something they learned: "I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers."
When 5s start taking themselves too seriously: "Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing."
When 5s give advice: "They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that's crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad."
Type 6
When 6s talk about their nerves: "I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious."
When 6s talk about friendship: "The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends."
When 6s trying to make the best of something: "Granted, maybe this was not the best idea, but at least we care enough about our employees that we are willing to fight for them."
Type 7
When 7s are asked something in-depth: "Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."
When 7s talk about their spontaneous adventures: "I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it."
When 7s stand up for something: "That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here."
Type 8
When 8s explain their reasoning behind something: "Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but, basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe. And that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm."
When 8s give their honest opinion: "Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy."
When 8s talk about their strengths: "I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and have worms."
Type 9
When 9s talk about equality: "Now, you may look around and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind."
When 9s are overwhelmed: "My mind is going a mile an hour."
When 9s do their best to be accommodating: "Is there something besides 'Mexican' you prefer to be called? Something less offensive?"
