During my freshman year, I wrote an article titled, "A Case Of The Freshman Blues Calls For Community" with the belief that the phenomenon only occurred during freshman year. Now that I'm in my second year of college, I can't say that it's been all that easy.
Each year brings new responsibilities and brings you closer to your post-grad, adult life. The pressures to do well academically, make and meet friends intentionally, and build my resume to make life a little easier later was weighing me down.
I felt like I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling because I didn't want to burden them when they were probably going through a hard time too.
I felt like I had to pretend to be happy. I had to look happy so that no one would ask any questions. I felt so empty inside, and I wondered why I was feeling this way.
While I was stuck in this downward spiral of self-deprecation and feelings of hopelessness, I was reminded of how God was working through all of this suffering.
A few months ago, I subscribed to an email from a Christian organization called Loop. It said, "I know you can feel lost, broken, distracted, weary, and downcast. I know you can feel overwhelmed and lonely and confused about the next step. There always feels like a next step, right? There always feels like there is another thing to do, another obligation to fulfill, another task to complete...I know your every thought, your every worry--every pause and breath and turn of your heart. If the one who knows you better than anyone says He is safe--what else can be trusted?"
If God knows me the best and knows my every thought, even when I myself don't understand them, what else can I trust? These feelings of brokenness are feelings that Jesus felt too. He felt them when He came down to live among us and when He died on the cross.
College is a time when people may begin to show signs of mental illness. Be aware of what symptoms may look like and what resources you have to receive help. Don't be afraid to talk about mental illness. Your school will definitely provide services if you feel the need to receive professional help.
