Before I came out as transgender, I did not touch makeup until my sophomore year in high school. My mother had decreed that I was "too young" to be playing with makeup. I learned a few months after I started wearing makeup daily that the bigger reason for barring me from makeup was because of the need for more expensive products and more products in terms of quantity. Since my sophomore year of high school, I have probably spent over 1,000 dollars on makeup.
Oddly enough, most of that total comes from after I came out.
The makeup I used to do when I started out was very natural looking. The warmest color I would wear was probably a cool toned gold, which I still have. I didn't wear lipstick, just tinted lip balms. I wore tinted moisturizer, not foundation. There was no contouring and highlighting, no setting with powder, no winged eyeliner, no filling in my brows, and definitely no taking it down the neck. If I did that in the routine I do now, I pretty much wouldn't being wearing makeup.
There will be those opposed to the fact that I claim to be a man while looking physically feminine and wearing makeup. I have one thing to say to those people: GROW UP. The makeup is not on your face so leave it alone. Don't touch it and mess it up, don't say it's terrible, just walk away if you don't like it.
Around the time I came out, I remember toning down my makeup significantly. I started only wearing foundation and mascara on a good day. I had so many conflicting thoughts about what I should be as a man and I did not know if makeup really fit into that picture of masculinity that I wanted. I thought about how some of the men who wore makeup to my high school were met with indignation from others. I did not think that what they were doing was wrong in any way, I wanted them to do exactly what they wanted because only they could know what that was for them. I just didn't know if it was the right thing for Thomas to do. I did not want to be questioned about my gender identity, period. So at the time, I thought that I should do without makeup for a little bit to help everyone ease into my transition. I still bought makeup while this was going on. I would play with it at home, grasping onto the vestige of my former self. I did have reasons to wear makeup outside of my room. Whenever I went to a social occasion involving family, I wore a little bit of makeup, but not too much. I wanted to hold onto my idea of masculinity as much as possible.
Eventually, I started to ease into wearing makeup more publicly. I would still do natural eye makeup, but I wore foundation, sculpted my face and I started to wear my signature dark lip. This really messed with people! I remember people coming up to me at work and asking me if I was a confused boy because of the makeup I was wearing. There is one occasion I remember clearly of someone calling me liar about being trans because I was still wearing makeup.
I am no liar. I am a man. I just wear makeup sometimes because I want to. Sometimes I wear only foundation to cover up some acne and sometimes I will go all out and look like an alien. (As I write this article, I have purple, shimmery eyeshadow on all over my face to figure out a drag show look). Yes, makeup has been marketed heavily towards women in the past, but times are changing. Men wear makeup all the time. Your favorite male actors are wearing makeup when they look like they have flawless skin. There are plenty of YouTubers who wear makeup.
Straight men, gay men, trans men, cis men, they can all wear makeup.
Don't judge men for wearing makeup. Remember, it washes off at the end of the day. Some men use makeup to look glamorous for a date, to even their skin pigmentation, or for a self-confidence boost, even to do the dishes. Those men do it for them. I do it for me. I like to look glamorous for the very few dates I go on, to cover my acne, to make my double chin go away, and, yes, I put on makeup just to do the dishes! That doesn't make me a lesser man. It doesn't make the straight man gay, or a gay man trans.
Makeup makes them who they want to be.
Makeup makes me who I want to be.
