Types Of Men At Texas A&M

Texas A&M has a lot of men. PLENTY of men. Too many men? There are many types, no one can be defined by a single category since they're all so *unique* and ~diverse~. To avoid stereotyping, most categories are divided into obvious tiers, to capture the special traits that compose the complexity of man.

NOTE: To enrich this article, I have captured a collection of anonymous quotes from women on the campus of different ages, majors, and beliefs. They were asked to describe the types of men they've encountered during their experience at Texas A&M.

"Men at this university are so generic just talking to one for more than two minutes is enough to know everything."

Engineers

Tier 1:

This type of engineer is the most basic. You see them everywhere: the bus, in the MSC, the back corner of Evans, etc. He is easily identifiable by his poorly fit jeans, too tight at the top, but too long at the bottom t-shirts and new balance sneakers. If that wasn't enough, his wireless Bluetooth headphones around his neck are a dead giveaway. Their fashion sense amounts to Walmart athletic shorts and a gaming t-shirt. Generally android users.

Tier 2:

These engineers are a bit more complex. Probably involved in a random student org, these "engineering majors talk down to you, especially if you're a liberal arts major." They're just a bit too proud of their Matlab knowledge, and make sure everyone knows where they're going to be working after graduation. Generally iPhone users. He's also probably a 3rd generation or higher Aggie.

Corps Boys

Tier 1:

"Corps boys who would seriously rather die than close their legs in a shameful display of manspreading." This is the type of corps boy who has probably put an ofo in his room at least once and still uses "ifunny". His Instagram feed has 134 followers, and 3 posts: one of him and his mother, him in each of his corps uniforms, and one at a game. Maybe, if you're lucky, there will be a low-quality picture of his dog. He's the guy that will DM you on Twitter and thinks that having TAMU Corps of Cadets in his bio automatically deems him worthy of a reply.

Tier 2:

This guy is super gung-ho about going into the military. He's a little goofy, but perfectly fits the description of "corps guys are weird." He was in love with every girl he's talked to, which is about 1/4 the female population of TAMU since he's always swiping on Tinder. "Not to be major specific, but in any one of my INTS classes there is always 1 corpsman who will literally equate whatever is on the screen to Iraq." You've probably seen him at Harry's or Shiner several times, and only knew he was in the corps because of the haircut.

Tier 3:

Seniors with their boots carry themselves like they are demigods among men. The boot chasers' stares feed too far into this ego. Overall they're respectful, polite, Redass, good Ags, and they have actual plans for post-graduation. Other than the weird pranks they've pulled and the egos higher than the Empire State building, they're all around good guys. He will probably propose within three weeks of dating, but at least it will be under the Century Tree.

Liberal Arts Dudes

He will write you a poem and is definitely a 2%er. They might have been an engineering major their freshman year, but they definitely aren't anymore. They probably live in some obscure part of Bryan and smoke often. They never talk about college or classes, but they seem to know a lot about foreign films, particularly the ones featuring explicit material. "Probably should have just gone to UT. Either wears tie-dye t-shirts or ugly 80's clothes from the thrift store, def has an unplayed guitar in his room and a dusty record collection."

Athletes

"He was obsessed with working out and eating protein, he thought he was this big strong masculine guy but..."

They seem really cool when you're talking to them, but as soon as you see their social media, you instantly want to gauge out your eyes. The sheer amount of praying hand emojis, check symbols, and the overuse of the words "legend" and "grind" attracts more followers than you ever thought possible. The number of hashtags used on a single post is enough to scare even #Shrader himself away. His Snapchat story is all inspirational quotes and selfie videos of himself talking.

Sports Management

You have no idea what they're talking about most of the time, but they always dress nice.

Frat Dudes

Tier 1:

They're the ones who are so obviously into their looks that you just can't help but stare. They walk around with the half-scowl, half smirk all the time as if they've just said something super clever. Their Instagram has a significant amount of followers, and way too many hunting and/or fishing pictures. Their Sperry's, Vineyard Vines t-shirt, and khaki shorts combo are almost too much to handle. "All the guys who dress like the "you know I had to do it to 'em" guy and take 100 years off my lifespan every time I lay eyes on one." He owns boat shoes but doesn't go boating. They joined the frat to carry on the family legacy.

Tier 2:

Separate from the preppy frat guy you're probably imagining based on the previous description, you have the goofy frat guys that have at least one accidental tattoo poorly scribed across a hidden part of their body. They shout loudly very often, and they're the ones who end up getting rejected by every girl they try to lay hands on at their parties. They have a wall in their house covered in flattened, empty beer boxes, and at least one "Saturdays are for the Boys" flag. They joined the frat strictly for the partying and have a Juul on hand at all times."There are the frat guys who don't know what inside voices mean on the bus." They have a scrap of a mustache they're attempting to grow because they think it makes them look hot. They always wear jorts during Chilifest and spend the entire game at the tailgate.

Men's Orgs Guys

Think they're above joining a frat but literally do the exact same things and act the same way.

Business Majors

If he's not in all Nike everything, he wears a Mays hat or shirt on most days. He is most likely in a frat or men's org. His parents will get him out of anything. He will try to explain bitcoin to you, tell you about "all his stocks', attempt to make you feel intellectually inferior, but he has no idea how to do his own laundry or boil water. "He sits in the back of the classroom to make fun of the prof and won't pull his own weight in group projects."

Church Men

"I'm sorry if we break up God has just put us in different "seasons." Let's take this "season" to better understand ourselves before we start again". They only wear Chacos, and they are probably reading in their Eno right now. They are most likely a Bible study leader or an impact counselor.

Country Boys

Tier 1:

Yeeyee boys blaring country music in their 2015 white, King Ranch truck. They wear jeans and boots every day, have a low-key mullet, and listen to exclusively country music. They constantly tweet about "my future wife" and how much they love Whataburger. They would rather die than think about leaving Texas post-graduation. The idea of letting go of honey butter chicken biscuits is just too much. They walk around campus with an uncomfortable expression while holding their Yetis. They go to Shiner Park or Harry's every Thursday without fail but aren't very good at two-stepping. They have a bad beard to cover the exposed portion of their face that isn't underneath a ballcap. Moreover, they all seem to own the same exact ballcap. There may even be a fishing hook on the bill of the cap. This type of man will not be caught dead with a Juul, but instead, he has some strange looking device that produces large clouds of sickening, bubblegum flavored vape.

Tier 2:

These men say "yes ma'am!", have flags flying from the back of their truck, sport multiple stickers across the back windshield, and have tires bigger than their love for camo jackets. They actually own at least one of their own guns. They have probably revved their truck's engine in a parking lot to catch a girl's attention, or to attempt to flex on other men. These type of yeye boys have the boots and jeans, but also the belt buckle, the 10-gallon hat, and a can of dip in their truck's ridiculously large console. They own at least one form of the Confederate flag but swear they're not racist. They spend their entire weekend at Harry's most likely. They can two-step well, but often make women VERY uncomfortable.