I Hate The Expectation That Men Hold Doors Open For Women

I Hate The Expectation That Men Must Hold Doors Open

I've heard hundreds of times that it's a "stupid" thing to get upset about, but it genuinely bothers me.

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I don't know how anyone else handles this issue in their own lives, but I happen to hold the door open whenever there is someone near me about to walk through said door. I think it's a common courtesy and a nice way to show fellow human beings that we care about them at least a little bit, even if we have no idea who they are. I'm also flattered when people put in the little extra effort to hold a door open for me. However, I am significantly bothered when men go out of their way to open doors for me, whether I know them or not.

I've been told that this is one of the "petty" or "annoying" attributes of my unwavering feminist beliefs, but hear me out. The concept of men holding doors open for women goes back to the idea of medieval "chivalry" or men treating women differently, more kindly perhaps, because they are women. Men have always been expected to take care of the women around them, whether it's their wives, mothers or daughters. Fathers give away their daughters, men are expected to provide a comfortable life for their wives, sons take care of their elderly mothers.

At the root of all of this is the understanding that women cannot handle everyday life on their own. It seems extreme, but in reality, men wouldn't carry bags, hold doors, pay, or a number of other things for other men. There are behaviors that are reserved in our society for men towards women, and holding open doors is one of those behaviors. These expectations come from a place of believing that there is a difference between the two genders. There are differences between the sexes, absolutely, but gender refers to the concept of how people act in society, not their biology.

When we generate different expectations as to how people of varying genders should act, there will always be one that is considered less than. Human beings naturally put things in hierarchal order, so when we see a difference, we evaluate which is superior. The gender difference is one of the most obvious in the human world. The first thing you identify about a person is often their gender or their name, but name often indicates gender. Women are different from men and are quite obviously considered the inferior of the two. So as an extension from this understanding, men take care of women and do the things they are not considered to be capable of.

Things women aren't considered capable of include politics, science, math, making money, physical labor, and loads of other things. In our world, these things are done by predominantly men, and going with the same logic, opening doors can be seen as in the same category. If men see women as needing them to do something as simple as opening a door, how are they ever going to see us as capable of running a corporation or a country? How are we ever going to gain respect in order to earn equal pay?

I know it seems far-fetched and many women have said to me that women deserve small niceties because of the mistreatment the male gender has put them through. However, I see men opening doors for women as an extension of institutional sexism and part of a society that consistently sees us as second-class citizens. I want to live in a world where we all open doors for each other, both literally and figuratively. So open the door for whoever's around you and men, just open doors for women when it makes sense. Don't go out of your way to help a woman by opening a door, and try opening doors for the men around you too.

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4 Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Making Laws About Women's Bodies

Why do men get to decide if women have a choice?

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Everyone is so quick to judge, especially Christians. Going forward, I'd like to make a point. As Tomi Lahren wrote in a Twitter post on May 16, 2019: "You're not God so don't you dare evaluate my faith based on your moral superiority complex." In more words, judging someone is a sin, and each sin is seen as the same in God's eyes. Romans 6:23 says "For the wages of sin is death..."

There is no specification as to which sin wages as the worst, so before you are so quick to judge, remember we are all seen as the same in God's eyes.

1. Men cannot become pregnant

"Men cannot become pregnant." They have no idea what it is like to be pregnant and to co-exist for an entire 9 months.

2. Men say things like... 

"Rape is kinda like the weather. If it's inevitable, relax and enjoy it." — Clayton Williams, TX Rep.

"If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut that thing down." — Todd Akin, MO Rep.

"Rape victims should make the best of a bad situation." — Rick Santorum, PA Rep.

"If a woman has the right to abortion, why shouldn't a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't (in most cases) result in anyone's death." - Lawrence Lockman, ME Rep.

3. Men do not get their rights taken away by female politicians 

I'm sure there are things men go through that women couldn't imagine. But we don't judge them about whatever those things may be. Most women are advocates for men and their health. They acknowledge statistics about men, their mental health, and their physical health. We would never want to force men to get (what most of the media is buzzing about) a vasectomy until marriage. That isn't right, and no one would ever consider doing something that radical because ironically enough, it isn't right to tell someone else what to do with their body.

4. Men are men, politicians are politicians, and that doesn't mean they have the appropriate education to make decisions like this 

Some men are rather educated on women and their bodies. On the other hand, there are thousands of men, even men that are in the public eye all the time, that are not educated on women and women's health. They are politicians, they want to win, they want to manipulate, and they will use every single tool that they can to get to the top. Most of the men signing these bills into place have no credibility when it comes to women's health.

At the end of the day, this list could be so long that it would take hours to read. But, it shouldn't have to be. If a man isn't educated and credible enough, he shouldn't be making laws. Women's bodies aren't a playground to see who can go the furthest on the monkey bars. We must put a stop to this. We have to educate our youth. Most of all, we have to put these manipulative politicians in their place.

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