For all my four years of high school, I was in the chorus. I had always been a performing arts person so the extracurricular sounded perfect for me. It was a great experience and being introduced to the choir world was a great way to cope with my anxiety. If you were ever in a chorus, you can relate to these.
1. "Sing for me!"
I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. I sing in a large group for a reason. I don't go out for solos for that particular reason as well. Also, I am not Christine and you are not the Phantom of the Opera, don't get me started.
2. Sight reading
I hated sight reading with an absolute passion. Sight reading is basically using the solfege scale to find out what note you will be singing when you have knowledge of what the note "do" sounds like. It is amazing when you are writing your notes in your music, but it is horrid to hear a chorus of high school kids try to sing a piece they have never been introduced to (not knowing any notes beforehand!!!) at the right tempo. Love it!
3. The diva (or divas) in the chorus when the director says there will be auditions for a solo in the pieces
We get it, you can sing or maybe you think you can sing. You won't sign with a record label if you win this solo for a high school chorus and there will be no talent scouts at our performances. Sorry to burst your bubble. Suck it up and sing blended with everyone else.
4. Practicing anywhere, anytime
Shower? Rehearsal. Dinner? Rehearsal. Supposed to be studying for a test? Rehearsal. Find yourself randomly singing your tunes? I'll take it as rehearsal. Listening to music? You're going to be listening to your choir pieces, hun!
5. The hideous performance attire
I am forever thankful that my high school chorus director did not believe in the traditional performance wear of a long, unflattering dress for women and a suit and tie for men. We were lucky and stuck to black with red accessories. If you had to dress in those garments, I feel bad for you.
6. When something goes wrong, always blame it on the other sections
"That eighth note on measure forty-six was sharp! The tempo was off! From the top!" Cue the side eye to the sopranos because the altos are the greatest voice part ever created. Thank you very much.
7. When the altos finally get to sing melody
We don't have harmony?! The day has finally come! Wait, it goes back to the sopranos after the D.S. al coda. Well, it was nice while it lasted.
8. Adding any type of movement into the songs
"Bring Me Little Water, Sylvie" was torture for all the kids with no rhythm. However, you feel like you are in a Broadway musical with choreographed body movements while singing. I will be the star of a one-woman show!
9. When the person that everyone in your voice section relies on is absent
You are our backbone! We can't sing without your perfect memory of the notes! We are so going to mess up. Please come back, we need you.
10. Cringing when you hear someone sing with a wide smile (or any wrong singing technique for that matter)
Tall vowels! You are supposed to sing with tall vowels (an open mouth so wide that someone is bound to make dirty jokes) so you do not create a diphthong and you can become more in tune. If you don't look like an idiot, you're not doing this part right. This will forever pass my mind when I hear Danny Zuko in "Grease" sing the end of "Summer Nights." Niiieeeeeeiiiiiiights. Shudders.
11. Warm-ups getting stuck in your head constantly
"1, 1, 2, 1." "Stop singing your warm-ups, you're in the middle of an exam." "Mommy made me mash my M&Ms." "You look like a crazy person." You will find yourself humming your warm-ups at the weirdest of times. Do you mind though? They're catchy and you can't help it.
12. Singing some serious bangers
Let's admit it, some of the pieces your director picks are off the walls. Sometimes your director will even pick a good ol' show tune like "For Good" from the Broadway musical "Wicked" or a chorus version of a pop song. You better be ready to give that song your all and do it justice.
13. Not consuming any dairy before a performance
Big no! Dairy coats your vocal chords, messing with your angelic voice. If you need caffeine, you must turn to soda or tea with no cream. You have no idea how many reminders my chorus director sent out telling everyone not to drink dairy!
14. "Hanging ten" is more than something you do on a surfboard
OK, maybe it's more like a hang seven and a half, but you must face the opposite way while you are singing so your voice can travel! Your feet must be so close to the edge of the riser, you will fall off if you don't balance yourself correctly. Surf's up!
15. PERFORMING!
The greatest outcome of being in chorus. You perform the pieces that you spent all of your free time on and you receive a standing ovation with the audience throwing roses onto the stage. OK, maybe it's not that spectacular but it feels pretty amazing to hear that thunderous clasp when you are finished with the set. It's also nice to get compliments afterward by your peers or chorus fans.
I can't imagine going my four years of high school without having the backbone of chorus. It seems like singing is just part of my identity now, I am always going to remember the days of scribbling my notes in my music and making faces at my best friend across the risers.
