Allow me to introduce you to the currently greatest person on the Internet, Matt Bellassai.
While Matt’s formal title is “Senior Editor at BuzzFeed,” he’s better known as the guy that gets paid to drink wine and complain about stuff. Yes, you heard that right.
A graduate from Northwestern University, Matt now uses his (incomplete) law degree and sarcastic personality to write and produce a BuzzFeed series titled “Whine About It.” Complaining about topics from roommates, to weddings, to texting, Matt uses his liquid confidence to say what we’re all thinking, and gets a salary for it. Matt blesses the internet every Wednesday with four to five minutes of pure, relatable entertainment. He recently wrapped up “Season 1” of "Whine About It" with arguably his best video yet, “The Worst Things About Fall.”
If you have five minutes, or an entire afternoon to spare, check out my favorite episodes of "Whine About It"!
1. Reasons Going Out Is the Worst
“Honestly I’d rather be in my bed, alone, surrounded by a bunch of warm baguettes… You don’t need people to have fun, all you need is warm carbohydrates.”
2. Reasons Why Clothes Shopping Is the Absolute Worst
“Why am I a different size at every store? I’m a size mouse at Gap and a size walrus at H&M.”
3. The Most Annoying People to Text With
“Asking people, ‘Did you get my message?’ is like asking people, ‘Why do you hate me?’ I don’t think you’re ready for the answer."
4. The Most Annoying Types of Couples
“Couples who are constantly texting each other when they’re not around, listen up, he went to Chili’s, not to war.”
5. The Worst Thing about Fall
“All I know is, pumpkin tastes like if you put cinnamon on a sand castle.”
“Everything is moist and muddy and rainy all the time. Fall is like the bathroom at a Taco Bell. It’s gloomy, I feel wet for some reason, I have no idea what time it is and my boots are stuck in something that looks a little bit like swamp water.”
Thank you, Matt, for giving college students everywhere a viable backup plan. I commend you.
For more Matt, follow him at:
Twitter: twitter.com/mattbellassai
Instagram: instagram.com/mattbellassai
Tumblr: mattbellassai.tumblr.com
