The year of transition from college to career is coming to a close. I had my one year anniversary at my job and my life is far from the days of being a student in New York City. In the past year, I have dated actively, written about dating, written about other topics, traveled to Europe twice, moved into an apartment with my sister, watched my friends find their paths and pursue them, kept three succulents alive, haven't seen a cockroach in my apartment, and pushed myself to practice self-care as much as I could.
Safe to say, I feel as though I've accomplished plenty.
What I need more than the many dates, and lessons, successes, and failures at work is to surround myself with people I cherish, admire, respect, and love. I've seen myself elated by romantic prospects and tasks at work, but at the end of the day, my love of life comes from the moments when I am laughing with friends, stuffing my face with Grandma's cooking with family or the camaraderie from complaining or connecting with a stranger. There's nothing quite like building bridges with a cohort of people that brings me joy.
I write a lot about connection with others and with the environment in the hopes that others will begin to believe that is what it's all about, not just for me, but for the world to spin. It's not about gifts bought on Amazon and platitudes that are a dime a dozen, while those are nice, they are not necessary like the feeling of warmth between people enjoying each other's company.
It IS that simple.
So, here's my new challenge, I'm doing away with the effort and attention to "find love", "catch feelings," or be on dating apps, the distractions from the unnecessary (like Netflix-binging), the energy spent and exhausted on trying to be one thing instead of another, and the angst that arises from not knowing. Goodbye to all that. Good riddance.
I wonder about all the "supposed to's" that we assign to specific times in life or ages. "Supposed to" be in a relationship. "Supposed to" be settling down and laying down roots. "Supposed to" work, work, work, work, and work more.
The disappointment from not meeting those "supposed to's" at the same time as others can make me feel like a disappointment. But, I do think, the only way we reach those "supposed to's" and milestones is through the community we make for ourselves (or that's what I am telling myself).
Whether you are someone in my life who is nearby or far away, I am putting my energy into us. If you didn't know that before, you should know it now. You are more important to me than Tinder, the latest season of Grace and Frankie, the "supposed to's", and the fear of what's to come.
When I look back another year from now on the big picture of my life, I want to see friendships blossoming, eating and chatter with family, self-love, decisiveness, and intention in where I direct my energy, more gratitude, less fear, and more bliss.
