How To Master Any Language In a Week, Or Less!

How To Master Any Language In a Week, Or Less!

Extraordinary tips to help you achieve fluency in any language.

Are you a hopeless linguaphile, seeking to learn various languages so that you’ll be able to act pretentiously in front of your friends? Have you hopelessly been enrolled in numerous language courses, yet, the only phrases you’ve come to know are greetings and food-related terms?

If reaching proficiency, or even better, acquiring fluency in a foreign language is what you wish to do, then fret no more. By thoroughly following the suggestions provided to you here you’ll be equipped with the skills to master any language in a matter of days.

The first step to learning a new language is choosing a language to learn. When selecting a language make sure it is one that your friends don’t already speak, that way once you’ve mastered it you’ll appear to be rather impressive. In addition, as long as they don’t know the language they will never criticize your terrible pronunciation, lack of an understanding of grammatical rules, and so on. Actually, you should probably choose to learn a language that no one around you can speak, as this will enable you to create your own rules and words for said language. Don’t know how to say a word in your target language? No problem, just make it up! They won’t notice.

The second step to learning a new language is neglecting both practice and memorization. One does not need to study grammar books, create flashcards, nor spend time practicing their target language in order to master it. These practices tend to take a lot of one’s time and they prove to be rather useless in the long run. Instead, you should play videos, of people speaking your target language, as you sleep. This will allow your brain to internalize all of the words used in the videos and once you wake up you’ll mysteriously be able to understand those words as well. It’s as easy as that.

The last step to acquiring fluency in a language is to purchase the extensive list of merchandise offered to you in my website,, which will assist you in your process of language learning. The products that I have developed have been statistically proven to fully satisfy the language learning needs of 99.9% of our customers! (It’s only not 100% of our customers because Bill, my archenemy, decided to give me a bad rating for no reason. I hate you, Bill.) In any case, included in the packages are various CDs of me speaking, or at least pretending to speak, numerous languages. All packages also include my limited edition book, which provides you with all the ambiguous and useless tips I could come up with to help you learn a new language.

Now that you’ve been informed on how to learn a new language you should start, like immediately! Go learn a new language and impress everyone around you!

[P.S: This is all legit information, like I’m not even kidding. I’ve spent years researching language acquisition, please, trust me and buy my merchandise.]

Cover Image Credit:

Popular Right Now

Let's Talk More About Lori Laughlin Facing Up To 20 Years In Prison When Brock Turner Got 6 Months

And he was released three months early for 'good behavior'... after sexually assaulting an unconscious girl behind a dumpster.


To start, Lori Laughlin messed up royally, and I don't condone her actions.

If you live under a rock and are unaware of what happened to the "Full House" star, here's the tea:

Lori Laughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli — and like 50 other celebrity parents — were found guilty of conspiracy to commit fraud, and paid a $1 million bail on conspiracy to commit mail fraud, and honest services fraud. You don't need to know what these mean except that she paid $500,000 to get her two daughters, Bella and Olivia Jade Giannulli.

I know you're wondering why they did it — tbh I am too — however, these parents paid the University of Southern California to give admission to her daughters in through the rowing team on campus, despite neither one of them actually playing the sport ever in their life.

Yeah, Aunt Becky messed up and should face punishment, but why is she facing up 20 years when men like Brock Turner are sentenced only six months for raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster at Stanford?

I hate to bring up the gender card, but I'm pulling it: Why is Lori Laughlin — a woman who with bad judgement who used money to give an upper-hand to her entitled daughters — face more prison time than a man who willingly raped a woman who wasn't in a right state of mine (or any at all!) behind a dumpster of all places.

The answer? Because the system is a mess.

Yeah, Aunt Becky paid for her daughters to get into a school, giving disadvantages to students actually deserving and wanting to attend a college. Her act was immoral, and ultimately selfish, but it doesn't even compare to what Brock Turner did, and it doesn't even effect others as much his rape survivor.

The most that will happen to the Giannulli girls is an expulsion and a temporary poor reputation, however, Emily Doe (the alias of the survivor) will feel the consequences of the attack forever.

There should have been a switch:

Lori Laughlin and the Target guy should have had to pay other students tuition/student debt while facing prison time, while Brock Turner should have had to face over 20 years with more consequences.

But, that'll never happen because our system sucks and society is rigged. I guess our society would prefer a rapist walking around more so a woman who made a poor choice by paying for her daughters to go to a college.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Teaching Is An Amazing Career, It's More Powerful Than We Give It Credit For

Teaching is a career that is heavily overlooked — it is much more powerful than people realize.


When it comes to teaching, it's not always easy or fun. But, let me ask you this: what career really is easy or fun all the time? Being challenged can beneficial. Otherwise, you are just going through the same routine over and over. Teaching will definitely keep you on your toes because there's always something happening.

People seem to think teachers just lecture on information that they hope their students remember for the test. You know what? Those people are dead wrong. Teaching is more than that. Teaching means having the passion and drive to educate children. Teaching is turning something dull to something that students will find more interesting and enjoyable.

Teaching is also about providing tools and other resources for students in order for them to succeed, especially the ones who tend to struggle in school. Being able to give those tools to help them accomplish their goals is extremely rewarding. A teacher will work with a student who is behind on his/her reading skills to have him/her be right at the level he/she needs to be by the end of the school year. Not many jobs provide a reward quite like guiding a student, if not more, to success.

Although it focuses on academics, teaching is not just about that. Sure, being an effective teacher is key, but there are other aspects that are just as significant. As a teacher, you also have to connect with your students. Knowing your students on a personal level is so important. The connection can build respect that will, in turn, help them to succeed. Plus, students spend more time with you on a day-to-day basis than they do with their parents — isn't that frightening? So, you have to be able to support them and let them know them that you are there for them if they are having trouble.

Additionally, that connection you build with your students can last a lifetime. You can witness the growth of a student right in front of you. In fact, I am still very close with some of my teachers from elementary school. Many of them inspired me to become a teacher. Because of those great bonds I built, I had the opportunity to intern with some of my past teachers, which was a rewarding experience for everyone. Being able to develop such a connection with someone so different in age is something that is so powerful and that doesn't come with many other careers.

Teaching is so amazing. There are so many layers and beautiful aspects to it. Again, it can be difficult, but it's also a lot of fun. Not many people can say they have fun and laugh every day at work. I also truly believe that not many other people can say their careers provide as rewarding of a feeling as teaching does. To be able to make such a difference in someone's life is an incredible thing. Teaching is my passion. I know teaching will not be only gratifying but something that will bring me pure joy.

Related Content

Facebook Comments