Mass Effect: To Andromeda And Beyond

Something is coming.

It might be "in a galaxy far, far away," but actually, it's way in the future. Like, more than 700 years in the future. Of course, I'm talking about the newest installation in the Mass Effect series: "Mass Effect: Andromeda."

In the interest of avoiding major spoilers, I'll only tell you a couple of things about the game that are pretty widely-known. The guy in the video? He's your character's dad, regardless of whether you play a male or female character. We--and by "we" I mean most of the fans who have been talking about this game since 2015--are pretty sure something happens to him, because he originally gets the title that your character somehow ends up with (I don't think he dies, I just think he goes missing. That's my theory, but we'll see on March 21). If his voice sounds familiar, imagine it a tiny bit higher-pitched. And talking about money.

Hopefully, he has other priorities in this universe. And hopefully I can take him seriously. But I digress.

The premise of the game is that humanity is looking for a new home in the Andromeda Galaxy. The journey starts in 2185, sometime between the events of Mass Effect 2 and Mass Effect 3, and takes over 600 years to complete. Our crew will be made up of--hopefully--many new interesting characters, each with their own backstories and reasons for going on this ridiculously long journey.

Our pilot is also a salarian, which I am ridiculously excited about. For those who don't know what a salarian is, one of my friends once described them as "squishy salamander buddies," and that's probably the most accurate description I've heard.

Except that they can also totally be bad***. I love salarians.

To learn more about the game and prepare yourself, click here to "join the Andromeda Initiative" alongside Scott and Sara Ryder and their father Eugene Alec (their last name, by the way, is likely a nod to Sally Ride, the first American woman in space). Watching all six briefings will get you a cool piece of armor when the game launches later this month. This page contains news about the game and its world, as well as the party members who come with you from the Milky Way. I'm also linking you to an interview with Tom Taylorson, who voices Scott Ryder (and has a voice as smooth as whipped butter--I could listen to him talk all day), and a playlist of official trailers and gameplay footage.

In preparation for the release of "Mass Effect: Andromeda" on March 21, I wanted to share a few of my favorite fan creations inspired by the "original trilogy," Shepard's story. We all know it, but you might not have seen these before.

You can skip over my comments if you want to: I just can't pass up the chance to "aww" at some of these scenarios or to rip on some of the characters who rubbed me the wrong way. For example...

This one made one of my friends--a new fan of the series--apparently laugh so hard she cried (side note: several days later, she still thinks about it and cracks up). It gets better if you imagine him saying "Shepard" with all those cigarettes in his mouth. How many does he even smoke, I wonder...?

This has been one of my favorites for a long time (as in, "saved-in-the-Mass-Effect-folder-on-my-laptop" favorite). Because all of your choices really did matter in the end. Not.

The comics are my favorite. Even if the Shepard in them isn't mine. I couldn't take the human reaper seriously anymore after this one. Which is probably why I love it so much.

I ship Shepard, Garrus, and Grunt as a little family harder than I ship any other ship. Also, this comic shows Garrus with his visor off, which I love seeing because he never takes it off. I mean, he barely ever exchanges the armor for regular clothes. But still. One can dream.

When I reblogged this on my own Tumblr, I tagged it with "WHERE CAN I GET ONE?" (or something similar.) But let's be honest: if BioWare ever comes out with a Garrus plush, they'll sell like hotcakes.

Speaking of "selling like hotcakes," this was the collaboration of my dreams: "Mass Effect" and "Cards Against Humanity." The 14-card expansion pack is only $1.00, with free shipping. Bit of advice, though: don't go to the site to purchase it on a work, school, or otherwise professional internet connection. There's a naughty word in the URL and we wouldn't want you to get in trouble.

You have been warned.

Lastly...

This made me cry. In a good way. Everyone who was ever on the Normandy is included, and Anderson looking out over the balcony is perfect. I think the quote the artist included really makes the post, and is a wonderful send-off to Andromeda:

“And know that wherever you go, we will be with you.”