Learning to control our reactions to others' actions
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Mask On, Mask Off

A take on the "wax on, wax off" lesson that we all know and love from Karate Kid.

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Sophia Winter

What exactly was Mr. Miyagi trying to teach Daniel when he demonstrated the "wax on, wax off" technique?

I think the simple answer is awareness...

Awareness of his responses and actions even in the mundane task of putting "wax on" and taking "wax off" because eventually, this simple awareness will translate into his karate and the muscle memory he has developed from doing what seemed like a mindless task.

By becoming aware, we prevent ourselves from feeling numb and falling into a pattern.

Although at times we may wish we were being led through life by Mr. Miyagi, we really end up feeling pulled through life by the people and situations around us.

We especially feel out of control of our lives when others project "masks" onto us if you will.

This is when we take on the qualities that others perceive us to have as opposed to moving through life with a steadfast stillness within us knowing who we are and how we feel about ourselves.

When we start viewing ourselves how others view us, we have lost our awareness.

If we are aware of the projections we can put the "mask on" and take the "mask off" without it really changing our inside because it's just that, a mask; it's not who we are because it's a facade.

Many of us struggle with the concept of control so for all of you control-lovers out there, here is one thing you can control:

Your reactions to others' actions.

As I've mentioned in a previous article, it's the way in which we handle the situation that matters more than the situation itself.

With this mentality, perhaps situations we usually take personally can become no different than hearing a dog bark in the distance while we go for a walk; a neutral event that we take notice of but don't interpret on a personal level.

People project masks onto us and this is inevitable. One thing we must understand, however, is that very rarely do others' perceptions of us have anything to do with us.

It has everything to do with them and how they perceive themselves.

Since we all wear masks because we all inherently project our own ideas and perceptions onto others, I'd like to bring awareness to this matter so that we can implement the "mask on, mask off" mentality in an effort to not let these masks taint our inner stillness.

Essentially, we should choose to see each mask is a mirror of the person we are in contact with, not who we actually are

I read a quote the other day that said there are "seven billion people will see you in seven billion ways, and every one of those masks is a single persons' understanding of who you are."

The passage went on to say that "your awareness allows you to not believe any one of their projections, because you don't need a mask in order to experience who you are."

This is because you are on the inside, interpreting the world around you, not the other way around.

In conjunction with the previous quote, there was another one that read as follows: "people are toxic to be around when they believe everything is happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them."

In essence, what others do and say to us is much more about them than us. This is such a simple realization but often one that takes the most effort to let resonate and comprehend.

For those of us who have run into these kinds of people, understand that they don't deserve to control you so the key to freedom is mastering the ability to not let their projections of themselves take that control.

Don't believe that the mask they project onto you is who you are.

Let calmness be your superpower; your indestructible, unshakable, consistent inner stillness and handle these people with that mentality.

We must watch our responses to the situations we get stuck in when we begin to believe we are our masks. Keep in mind that the simple way out is the simple awareness that you have the power to "mask on, mask off" at any time.

We must have mindful responses and be aware and not take everything so personally. We do not want to live with our own toxicity that results from thinking everything happening around us is a direct assault on us.

When we live life as if everything is an assault on us, life becomes a lonely, scary and timid place to live from.

Instead, live from that place of inner stillness and calmness.

In a book I read recently there was a line that said this: "We may not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide to not be reduced by them."

An example of being reduced by someone's actions can be when we believe that someone is ignoring us when they don't return our calls but in reality, they've simply had a technological issue or perhaps something has been going on with them that prevented them from getting back to you and their lack of response was never meant to be anything personal at all. Trust that gut feeling that kept telling you everything was probably fine and you were probably overreacting. Trust your intution.

We all have intuition. whether or not we choose to dedicate time and energy to developing it is up to us.

I believe that intuition is the greatest superpower of them all because, by definition, intuition is "the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning."

Intuition is untainted by social constructs, the misguiding advice and voices of others or that voice in our head that always seems to want to do what we feel we should do as opposed to what we actually are doing.

Let intuition be your guide and lead you to the deeply rooted understanding that how others treat us is often a projection of themselves onto us.

"Mask on, mask off" and remain aware of your ability to do this so that you can hold onto that inner peace that allows you to stay in control.

Hopefully, you won't have to do a laundry list of household chores for Mr. Miyagi in order to learn this lesson.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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