It has been brought to my attention that young women are "rushing" to get married. I see 18-year-olds getting engaged, 19-year-olds getting married, and 20-year-olds having babies. Although there's nothing wrong with this and I write this article with no shame toward these women, I do have some thoughts that maybe someone can clarify.
Why are these women desperate to "play house" so young?
"Playing house" as a kid was fun and exciting and gave us as kids a sense of responsibility — dreaming of what adulthood might be like. Playing house made us as kids feel like we had a purpose or had something to contribute to, whether that was contributing to our pretend marriages, pretend children, or other demands we made up in our heads. I just wonder, if you knew how hard it really was to be an adult, how hard it is to make a marriage last, and how hard it was to raise a child when we are still children ourselves, would we still want to grow up this fast?
What about getting married at 20 is appealing to you?
Do some women not realize that after you get married you will be so broke you will be grocery shopping at the dollar store and will have to donate plasma for money once a month? I get wanting to share life's experiences with someone you love, but you can do that without getting married. You can be dating or in a long term engagement and still enjoy everything life has to offer.
Are you really willing to give up your independence this young?
And become reliant on someone else entirely? Are you really ready to give up your experience as a young, beautiful college girl for something you can't possibly be prepared for yet?
I know weddings are fun and exciting. I know the process of finding your dress and picking out flowers and a location is fun. But what's not fun is the bill afterward. The bill for the catering, the DJ, the venue. What isn't fun is the fact that your wedding flies by and it feels like it lasted two minutes. What isn't fun is having a dramatic, jealous bridal party.
I am not anti-marriage, though this article makes me sound like it. I love the idea of a wedding and marriage and feeling beautiful and excited. I, like you, have been planning my wedding since I was six years old and I love the idea of a fall wedding with sunflowers and burgundy bridesmaids dresses. I love the idea of wedding cake tastings and wedding planning.
I don't think that this generation realizes that marriage is a full-time job and that there is a lot more work that goes into a marriage than goes into a relationship or engagement.
I think our generation is so focused on the aesthetics of weddings and building a life that looks glamorous to the outside world, that we often forget to stop and think about the difficulties we will face as we grow into real adulthood.
If you want to get married at 18, I support you. I just hope you know what you're walking into and the work you're going to have to put in to build a strong foundation for your marriage.
Follow Swoon on Instagram.
