College Students Care More About Their Dream Wedding Than Marriage
Start writing a post

Girls Who Get Married At 20 Care More About Their Dream Wedding Than The Actual Marriage

Why are we all rushing to 'play house' and get married and have children before we have a degree in our hands?

Girls Who Get Married At 20 Care More About Their Dream Wedding Than The Actual Marriage

It has been brought to my attention that young women are "rushing" to get married. I see 18-year-olds getting engaged, 19-year-olds getting married, and 20-year-olds having babies. Although there's nothing wrong with this and I write this article with no shame toward these women, I do have some thoughts that maybe someone can clarify.

Why are these women desperate to "play house" so young?

"Playing house" as a kid was fun and exciting and gave us as kids a sense of responsibility — dreaming of what adulthood might be like. Playing house made us as kids feel like we had a purpose or had something to contribute to, whether that was contributing to our pretend marriages, pretend children, or other demands we made up in our heads. I just wonder, if you knew how hard it really was to be an adult, how hard it is to make a marriage last, and how hard it was to raise a child when we are still children ourselves, would we still want to grow up this fast?

What about getting married at 20 is appealing to you?

Do some women not realize that after you get married you will be so broke you will be grocery shopping at the dollar store and will have to donate plasma for money once a month? I get wanting to share life's experiences with someone you love, but you can do that without getting married. You can be dating or in a long term engagement and still enjoy everything life has to offer.

Are you really willing to give up your independence this young?

And become reliant on someone else entirely? Are you really ready to give up your experience as a young, beautiful college girl for something you can't possibly be prepared for yet?

I know weddings are fun and exciting. I know the process of finding your dress and picking out flowers and a location is fun. But what's not fun is the bill afterward. The bill for the catering, the DJ, the venue. What isn't fun is the fact that your wedding flies by and it feels like it lasted two minutes. What isn't fun is having a dramatic, jealous bridal party.

I am not anti-marriage, though this article makes me sound like it. I love the idea of a wedding and marriage and feeling beautiful and excited. I, like you, have been planning my wedding since I was six years old and I love the idea of a fall wedding with sunflowers and burgundy bridesmaids dresses. I love the idea of wedding cake tastings and wedding planning.

I don't think that this generation realizes that marriage is a full-time job and that there is a lot more work that goes into a marriage than goes into a relationship or engagement.

I think our generation is so focused on the aesthetics of weddings and building a life that looks glamorous to the outside world, that we often forget to stop and think about the difficulties we will face as we grow into real adulthood.

If you want to get married at 18, I support you. I just hope you know what you're walking into and the work you're going to have to put in to build a strong foundation for your marriage.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content

2026: the year the Fifa World Cup Returns to North America

For the first time since 1994 the United States will host a world cup (for men's soccer)

2026: the year the Fifa World Cup Returns to North America
Skylar Meyers

The FIFA World Cup is coming to North American in 2026!

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

An Open Letter to Winter

Before we know it April will arrive.


Dear Winter,

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

6 Questions To Ask Yourself When Cleaning Up Your Room

This holiday break is the perfect time to get away from the materialistic frenzy of the world and turn your room into a decluttered sanctuary.


Cleaning isn’t just for spring. In fact, I find school’s holiday break to be a very effective time for decluttering. You’re already being bombarded by the materialistically-infatuated frenzy of society’s version of Christmas, Hanukah, etc. It’s nice to get out of the claustrophobic avarice of the world and come home to a clean, fresh, and tidy room. While stacking up old books, CDs, and shoes may seem like no big deal, it can become a dangerous habit. The longer you hang onto something, whether it be for sentimental value or simply routine, it becomes much harder to let go of. Starting the process of decluttering can be the hardest part. To make it a little easier, get out three boxes and label them Donate, Storage, and Trash. I'm in the middle of the process right now, and while it is quite time consuming, it is also so relieving and calming to see how much you don't have to deal with anymore. Use these six questions below to help decide where an item gets sorted or if it obtains the value to stay out in your precious sanctuary from the world.

Keep Reading... Show less

Why I Don't Write (Or Read) An "Open Letter To My Future Husband/Wife"

Because inflated expectations and having marriage as your only goal are overrated.

Urban Intellectuals

Although I have since changed my major I remember the feverish hysteria of applying to nursing school--refreshing your email repeatedly, asking friends, and frantically calculating your GPA at ungodly hours of the night. When my acceptance came in I announced the news to friends and family with all the candor of your average collegiate. I was met with well wishes, congratulations, and interrogations on the program's rank, size, etc. Then, unexpectedly, I was met with something else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Meet the creators making their voices heard on Odyssey.

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week
Why I Write On Odyssey

At Odyssey, we're on a mission to encourage constructive discourse on the Internet. That's why we created the response button you can find at the bottom of every article.

Last week, our response writers sparked some great conversations right here on our homepage. Here are the top three response articles:

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments