Married Young
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Married Young

If you're ever wondering if you're making the right choice, YOU ARE.

Married Young

Hey there guys/girls/people of the internet!

For those who do not know me, my name is Alex Jenkins. I am 21 years old, and I have been married to my best friend since I was 19.

To say that being engaged so young is an easy process, would be a lie.

People told me that I should wait a while to get married. They said that I was to young. Too naive. Too uncultured.

Well, if you're in the same boat, I'm here to tell you, they are completely and utterly wrong.

When I was approaching marriage, quite frankly as a young, naive, woman in a world that looks as marriage as someone's 50/50 chance at success, people certainly approached me with the utmost disgust when telling someone of the world that I just became engaged.

At first there was excitement.

And then the look diminished with each passing minute.

The next question would be, "You're so young! How old are you?"

To which I replied, "19."

"Oh... and how long have you known each other for?"

1 year. Yep, there I said it-- ONLY ONE YEAR.

"Well, I hope it will at least be a long engagement."

Actually, nope, only 3 months.

And here came the bulged eyes. The raising of the eyebrows, the surprised tone.

"Well how do you suppose you're going to pull that off???" they would ask me.

I spent those three months as a betrothed fiancee in mourning almost every day as testimonies of failed divorcees and heartbroken misfits were told with such "I'm just trying to look out for you" faces.

Until the day came that I married the man that God had called me to. It was with perfect peace on the day that I said "I Do." and here I am 2 years later that I say wholeheartedly- I am so glad I didn't listen to the naysayers.

You see, we did not get to know each other fully in those 12 months that we dated. They were right about that- you can't get to know someone full-heartedly in just 12 months without living together.

But what is the fun in that? Marrying someone that you already know EVERYTHING about? There is something so majestic about the feeling you get when you spend the first night as husband and wife in the complete unknowingness of what this life together will hold. Trusting God, we took the leap of only having a three month engagement.

Let me tell you, I do not regret that decision at all.

I am so glad that we only had a three month engagement. I'm going to be honest- when you're dating and you get to love someone and you're longing to stay pure- the temptations are difficult and trying. When you are engaged, the Devil makes tempting you as a young couple his full time job.

You start thinking, "Well we only have one month to go..." or "We are already engaged anyways..." or "Why does it even matter if we are pure anyways?"

People will also tell you that you need to sleep with someone before you commit to them for the rest of your life. EHH... FALSE.

When you place your focus on that one person instead of on the One who is calling you to be with that person, your marriage will break, and it will fail, and you probably shouldn't even be getting married in the first place.

People said that three months is not enough time to plan a wedding. And while we were quite ambitious, It was totally possible, and if I do say so myself, my wedding was FREAKING BEAUTIFUL.

Tija Medina Photography

Marriage is a huge commitment. It is a lifelong choice to continually say yes to the person that you pledged your life to. It's difficult. Sometimes, one of the most difficult things I have ever done.

People like to make marriage such a consumer product. "If this man isn't satisfying your needs and wants, then you should divorce him." What about if he is fulfilling God's heart? You don't get to push the eject button as soon as something in your marriage goes wrong. When you pledge "till death do us part" you aren't pledging "till you get on my nerves." Marriage is not about what you want- it's selflessly loving and caring for one another until you take your last breath. It is not a 50/50 "when I feel like it" thing. It is a 100/100 always on my toes, always looking for ways I can serve my spouse sort of thing.

And if you're not ready for that sort of commitment- if you're so committed to yourself that you can't focus on the needs of the other person- then getting married at a young age is not for you.

Something I don't want to convey is that I am my husband's servant- stay at home all day and cook and clean- type of wife-- no. Marriage is about my husband serving me as well. We are a team. We serve in church, together. We do laundry, together. We share responsibilities, and we listen to each other when our hearts are heavy.

The Lord commands us to serve each other:

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13.

I can't say that my husband makes marriage easy, because sometimes he makes it really hard to love him. Your husband is going to make you mad. He will know how to make you more mad then anyone else in the world. He is going to say hurtful things. He's going to keep throwing his tupperware in the sink after the one hundredth time you politely asked him to clean them when he gets home. He's going to continually leave his clothes on the floor. He's going to forget what you told him 3 times already about the family reunion. He's going to go cheap on the anniversary flowers. He's not going to listen to you sometimes. Most times. "I'm sorry's" are hard when all you want to do is rip their hair out.

But time and time again, marriage is so so worth it.

He will know the innermost parts of your being. He will have a hug that can fix any broken heart. He will be your source of comfort. The one who you confide in. The one you dream with. The one that will always be there when you get home after a loooong day at work. The provider and the father to your future children. The one that when a conversation in a room comes about, you can look over at him and exchange glances because you both knew this would come up. He will, if he is a man after God's own heart, demonstrate the overwhelming love and grace of God.

Marriage is so worth it.

Marriage young is so worth it.

Not only do you get to grow together, you get to grow up together, and that is so beautiful.

Finances are going to be tight, feelings are going to be broken, life is going to get messy, people are going to say what they say. But as long as your life and marriage are centered around Christ first and around each other second, you're building yourself a lasting foundation that will be intentional and beautiful.

I find myself falling more in love with my husband's character every day as His love and commitment to the Father grows and His understanding of what makes me tick and what sets me on fire deepens.

If the person you're going to marry doesn't have a relationship with the Father, then how are you going to have a picturesque version of a marriage? Marriage was created and ordained by Christ. If your marriage is not a picture of the love that Christ so sacrificially shown you, then how do you expect to have a marriage strong and passionate and joyful?

I am so thankful that God knew what He had for me before I did, and that He gave me the perseverance to keep going even when the naysayers told me it was going to fail.

Did you get married young? Let me know your story in the comments section.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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