I recall that, when I was younger, I dreamed about the fairy tale life I would have in my mid-20s. I assumed, I would find my dream man in college, get my degree, be engaged the following year, get hitched, and start a family.

Now, this a very unrealistic life in my books. As I got older, I saw the effects of a toxic marriage firsthand with my parents, family members, and even with close friends. I watched as it affected everyone it came in contact with. The perfect life and marriage I had always dreamed of was erased from my head and replaced with fear. Here are a few reasons why marriage continues to terrify me.

We forgot the values of marriage

Many millennials have completely lost faith in marriage and commitment. Most of us get so wrapped up in the idea of marriage that we forget what it actually means and stands for. Marriage is more than just an expensive ring and wedding, it's an emotional connection that requires a selfless commitment for the rest of your life. Life isn't just about you anymore, it's about the both of you. Your marriage should be the most important thing in your life, but it shouldn't be your entire life.

Couples stop talking about what really matters

I have heard horror stories of couples waking up one morning and realizing they have no connection to their partner. More than ever, we allow our relationships to become robotic and business-like. We get so wrapped up in bills, work, our schedules, our kids' schedules, and everything else in between that we lose the essence of intimacy in the relationship. Once communication begins to fail, that is the first sign of a rocky road ahead.

Forgetting the wonderful things

Being together for an extensive amount of time is no excuse to not show your partner love and affection. Between two busy lives, it is important to make your relationship a priority. Once the relationship is not a priority, couples tend to forget the little things that brought them together and what made them fall in love with each other. Instead they put their attention to the negative things. Say you do five nice things for your husband that go unappreciated. As soon as you do one negative thing, your fault will be the only thing that is noticed. Sometimes we let go all of the wonderful things and don't see them anymore.

Cheating is easier than ever

Once partners begin straying away from each other, the desire to cheat increases. You are searching for some sort of connection that you are not receiving from your spouse. The internet and smartphones have made cheating so simple. As long as you are keeping it on the down low, the other spouse will never know. That terrifies me.

I am not saying never get married, because I still have hope. There is someone out there for all of us, it just takes some patience to find him or her. Find someone who is passionately in love with you and some who you are passionately in love with. In that relationship, you should be overcome your fear of marriage.