Marriage Is No Longer Just About Love And, Frankly, It Sucks

Marriage Is No Longer Just About Love And, Frankly, It Sucks

Your whole life, you want a dream marriage with the love of your life. Then you become an adult and find out that's not quite how it's done anymore.

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It definitely could be argued that it has never been solely about love. Way before any of us were even imagined, marriage was a pact between families. You gave one family your daughter in exchange for something, whatever that something may be. I'm sure love was still something you hoped for at that time, but it wasn't expected.

But c'mon! It's 2019 and everyone is always talking about love: love your neighbor, love your family, love everyone! Still, it seems to me that marriage has become just the thing you do when you don't know how else to further your relationship. But, why? To me, marriage should still be a commitment. Not a 'for now' commitment, a 'forever' commitment.

Marriage should be something you've planned because otherwise, you'll never get through the bad parts with your significant other. Instead, it has become something that is more romantic if it's spur of the moment. It might work once in a while, but nine times out of ten, planning something out will only positively affect the outcome, at least when it comes to marriage.

I do understand that it's really hard to make marriage just about love and commitment, though. So many societal, political and economic issues are tied to marriage. For many, love and commitment isn't enough. Maybe that's due to laws prohibiting their marriage or maybe it's due to policies that would put one or both people into poverty if they were to be married. Whatever the reason, it happens and it SUCKS.

I know marriage isn't a big deal to many, "It's just a label," is something you hear all the time about all different kinds of relationship statuses. For myself, and people like me who need validation that their significant other is committed to them, though, this label is one of the most important labels there is, at least when the time is right.

For us, marriage is saying, "Yes, I love you and I will continue to love you. I will not leave because you made a mistake or messed up. I will not leave because of whatever problems you're facing. I am here, no matter what. You can count on me." But it's not only people like me who want that commitment. Most people deep down want commitment, even if marriage isn't the form they want it in.

Also just as I want someone to commit to me in that way, I also want to commit to someone else in that way. When you promise to love someone forever and help them through whatever they may face, you feel more important in the world. You give more meaning to who you are and what you do. You are not only you, but you are someone who is important to another person.

I want marriage to be important again. I want it to mean something to the world. I want us to disregard religion, politics and anything else that has an influence on marriage. I want it to be just about two people who are in love, committing themselves to each other.

I want marriage to be what I once thought it was. I want it to be about sacrifice, commitment and all the other good and bad things you must go through.

Most importantly though, I want marriage to be about love. Without love, we would all be lost.

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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To The Best Friend Getting Married Soon, I’m Glad You Found Your Soulmate

I’m so glad you found the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

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I can't put into words how happy I am for you. You deserve this. You deserve a man who respects you and makes sure you're happy and that's exactly what he does. You deserve a man who makes time out of his day to handle your small problems like getting your keys out of your car when you locked them in there. You found the man you deserve.

As your best friend, I want the best for you and I do believe you've found the best. You both have a great sense of humor. I honestly believe the two of you are soulmates. You two are a beautiful couple.

As your wedding day is coming soon, I want you to know that I can't wait for that day. I can't wait to see the two of you become one. I can't wait to see what life holds for you. The future you two will have. I am truly excited for this day.

You deserve the man you have and I'm so glad you found him. He brings out the best in you. He makes you smile and not just any smile like I can see your happiness through it. He's silly, makes you laugh, and even comments on the post you tag him in which is rare for guys to do.

As your best friend, I want you to have the perfect soulmate and you got him. While it's so easy to find flaws in someone, I can't find any in him. I want you to know that you deserve the world and I'm so thankful he gives you just that.

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