The last year while I've been in nursing school I found it hard to juggle work, school, and maintaining my home. So things were sacrificed, he had to do the laundry more often than not, home cooked meals were few and far between, and he assumed a lot of responsibilities that when we moved into the house landed on my shoulders. My future husband being the wonderful man he is rose to the occasion and did not disappoint. However, now that I've graduated and gotten my license things have somewhat changed. I cook more, I began doing the household chores more, and resumed whatever financial responsibility we had agreed to when we decided to move in together. Recently he said that he missed me doing all this stuff around the house. As I've mentioned in previous pieces, my husband is 22 years older than I am, It got me thinking, now that school is over for me, and marriage is literally days away, what is expected of me as a wife? Especially with the age gap between us. Maybe his idea of what I should be is different than what is going to happen.

I know from experience and from research that Generation X was and still is old fashioned. Women for the most part stayed home, maintained the household and raised the children. The men were the primary breadwinners and did more of the "handy work" around the house. If the woman did work, it was still her job to maintain the household, children, and husband. My husband is a part of Generation X, his parents baby boomers. This was their normal, it somewhat still is. My mother in law works full time, nearing retirement, but still maintains her house, takes care of my father in law, and manages to still do things for my husband and his brother. Watching her, I wonder...is this what is expected of me?

Whereas my family, also Generation X are more modernized. As long as I can remember both parents have always been actively working, my mom did shoulder most of the household duties, but my father also shared in them. Parenting was a team process, and no 1 parent possessed more authority than the other. Growing up, my dad was always teaching me things that he felt should be unisex. Changing a tire, checking my car engine, mowing the lawn, etc. While my mother taught me how to cook, and little household hacks. My dad told me that he never wanted me to have to depend on a man for anything, and that as a woman I should be able to do it all, and depend on myself. Hindsight 20/20, he's right. I can change a tire, I know how to check my care engine and identify an abnormal sound. I can mow the lawn, wash my car, lift heavy things (for the most part), while also being able to cook, clean, and care of others. Watching them, I wonder...is this what is expected of me?

I'm a millennial, and have fallen into a category of "too young to be married", since my generation is all about their careers, and having everything young, and settling down when you're older. I do deem myself a mix of generation x and millennial. I do like certain aspects of home life from generation x, but as a millennial, I know that as young as I am, I can have it all. I can have a husband, children, home, and be successful in my career. However, I don't want it to be one sided. I want my husband to be my partner, and we do things together. I'm fortunate enough to have such a husband. Although Generation X born, his mindset is a mix, just like mine.

I know for a fact i wont be a homemaker, I won't be a part time worker or wife/mother. Everything I do, i give 100%, this is no different. I won't assume the sole responsibility of running a house, having a career, and raising kids, while my husband just works. Do I sometimes believe in the preconceived gender roles? I do. I don't however feel we have to be limited to them. If some people are expecting me to be home when my husband gets home from work to have a home cooked meal waiting, and the house spotless? They're very wrong. This won't be easy, but I know that if my husband and I continue on the path that we're on, our generation mixes will shatter any marriage expectations we've had. For the better.