Last week, I listened to the closing chapter of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. And I subsequently balled my eyes out. I guess that defeated the whole point of not giving an F, but I don’t give an F that I gave an F.

“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” is a self-help book that kicks you right where it hurts. You’ll never get a sugar-coated inspirational quote, or be asked to look for some kind of silver lining. Manson wants you to suffer, not because he wants you to be a mopey human, but because he truly believes suffering, while it sucks, is never a truly bad thing because all it does is make you stronger and help you realign what you truly give an f about. It’s not about not giving an f, it’s about giving an f in all the right places.

Usually, self-help books use underdog success stories to cheer their readers up. Manson refuses, using stories of unaligned values and misery to whip us into shape, or realigned values to show us how to move on from our suffering. For example, Dave Mustaine was kicked out of Metallica.

As revenge, he formed Megadeth and spent his whole life trying to get back at Metallica for dumping him. He later admits that despite huge tours and all the riches, he still felt like an utter failure because not only did he not take down Metallica, but his former bad even superseded his own. His value: crushing Metallica, was unattainable and chasing it increased his suffering rather than helping him move past it.

I can say this book thickened my skin for the better. It taught me to own up to my own contributions for my misery, instead of putting all the blame on this one and that one. It forced me to really sit down and think about what I really give an f about. And it has made me all the better and all the stronger, and I will never stop improving.

Thank you, Mark Manson, for your book. Thank you for giving me the smack in the face and punch in the gut I stubbornly wouldn’t take from anyone else.

“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” is available literally wherever books are sold, so make sure to grab yourself a copy today!