Marital Rape Is Still Rape

Marital Rape Is Still Rape

It's time we start prosecuting rapists of all varieties because nonconsensual sex is rape and rape is a crime.


Hello friends, I'm back again with another heavy topic, but I think it's one that isn't publicized as frequently as it should be: marital rape. Never heard of it? Well, let me give you a brief rundown because it's real and it needs to be discussed just as much as other kinds of rape.

At this point in the United States, at about 10-14% of married women have experienced marital rape, and about a third of women report having unwanted sex with someone they're married to or dating. This doesn't include the marital rape that happens outside of the U.S. on a global scale and, as you can probably guess, those numbers are far from better.

Morally, there is absolutely nothing that justifies rape either in a marriage or outside of it. Looking at our current laws, marital rape is considered a crime in all 50 states. This sounds pretty good, but if you look at some of the laws of individual states, there are at least 30 states in which husbands can get away with this if he didn't have to use force. These situations include mental or physical impairment, the wife being asleep, and coercion. Ladies, if your husband is trying to have sex with you and doesn't get your consent (or gets it reluctantly), you are experiencing rape and it's absolutely not okay.

If you don't think that the physical and mental consequences of marital rape aren't the same as for victims of rape outside of a marriage, you're just plain wrong. Some of these consequences include lacerations, soreness, vomiting, PTSD, anxiety, sleeping disorders, depression, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation. The consequences for the victim are the same regardless of whether the crime happens inside or outside the marriage. Consequences for the perpetrator should be too.

If you are in a situation where you have been raped, regardless of marriage playing a role, I want to first tell you that you are an amazing human being for having survived this and continuing to live your life. I want to follow that by saying, if you're in a situation where it's still happening, I plead with you that you leave this situation as soon as possible. There is no acceptable way to validate staying in a relationship where you are being abused. And that's what rape is, plain and simple.

If you're in this situation and don't know how to leave it, there are so many resources available to you (less than I would like, but they're still out there). I would start by looking at health care providers and local advocates if you can find them. You did nothing to deserve this, and marriage to a man does not make it okay for him to force sex on you. You know what you get to do with as you please? Things you own. A woman, in no sense, is the property of her spouse, and she should not be made to believe that. If you're in this situation, the best choice for your health is for you to leave as soon as you can and seek help. While issues of rape are hard enough to get publicized and taken seriously, it's time we start taking marital rape just as seriously both in our minds and in the legal system. To those of you who have experienced this, I support you, and you are not less because of this. Until you're able to stand up for yourself, I'll do my best to stand up for you.

**Disclaimer: I would like to note that marital rape is possible within any relationship. I've used the term husband and wife here because heterosexual relationships make up the vast majority. However, regardless of the sexuality of the partners in a relationship (married or otherwise), unwanted sex is rape and rape is a crime.

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It's Time To Start Dating And Stop 'Talking'

The younger generation is over dating and talking only and here's why it should stop.


Today's society is scared of dating. They have come to a custom of talking for months. They will do everything a couple will do, but they're just talking. They hate labels and they hate commitment. Couples will literally be talking for an entire year, but will never use the term dating.

Many couples will talk instead of talking due to commitment. This might come from a negative experience of a past relationship. Many people have been cheated on and this effects the way they look at dating. Some have been through abusive relationships which then leads to being afraid of relationships. They let one drastic situation take on their opinions on dating.

People do not want to settle down. Some people don't want to be with just one person. They would like to be with several and that's not OK. Asking for someone to be faithful should not be that hard. The constant voice in the back of your head wondering if someone is cheating because you've already been cheated on once is not OK either. Being cheated on and not being able to settle for one person are both issues as to why dating is no longer a thing.

Getting out of an abusive relationship is pretty tough whether it was emotional, sexual, or abusive. They're all pretty hard and it will be hard to settle down and trust someone else. This is another reason why people will talk for a while before they date. They often want to get to know the person more, but at what point are you going to know each other too well?

Dating is scary no doubt. I personally was scared of dating again after an awful relationship, but I am so glad I got back into it. I talked to my now partner for a little over a month before we made things official. I got to know him, but here we are months later and I am still getting to know him. So stop the months upon months of talking and start dating!

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To The Guy Who Told Me Not To Be Me, Nice Try

He will not silence me.


He told me to never cut my hair short because it would make me look too masculine.

So, I sent him pictures of three different pixie cuts and asked him which one I should get.

He told me not to wear red lipstick because it made me look like a slut.

So, I bought every shade from blush rose to maroon.

He told me not to buy heels taller than one and a half inches tall because it's unattractive for a girl to be taller then the guy she is with.

My favorite shop was having a sell on a beautiful pair of three-inch stilettos. I bought them.

He told me that I was putting on a few extra pounds and that I shouldn't order dessert on our next dinner date.

Did he honestly think I would say no to the red velvet cake that our waitress offered?

He flirted with the waitress, saying that I should "look more like her."

I wrote down his number on our receipt before we left the restaurant.

He told me not to leave my "feminine products" on the counter because it's embarrassing.

When his friends came over for guys night, I organized my tampons and pads nicely on the bathroom shelf.

He told me that I couldn't talk to my best friend of 12 years because he was a guy.

I invited him to watch a movie with us at the local cinema the following week.

He told me not to order wine at the bar with him and his work friends because he didn't want me to seem "trashy."

I ordered jack and coke instead.

He told me not to be a feminist because it meant that I thought I was better than him.

My new "GIRL PWR" shirt is my favorite.

He told me to be silent.

He told me that I think too much and that I speak what I think too often.

He told me nobody cares about what I have to say.

He told me that the things I say don't matter.

So, I wrote a poem about him.

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