At the University of Kentucky, Man-Candy Mondays are the
days that sorority girls look forward to. In the middle of dinner with your
sisters, one will hear the lovely knock on the door. A hush falls over the
women as they crane their necks to see who, or what, awaits them. Will it be
another announcement about getting involved in something? Will it be the
members of the student government trying to get you to vote for them? Or will
it be a small group of young men clad in khakis and blue blazers? They quickly
introduce themselves and you find yourself scoping them out and giving your overall
inner stamp of approval, or you try to pick out the attractive ones from
the bunch and await the magic or the monstrosity that is about to befall your
ears.
The perfect serenade is something that every pledge
class strives to have, however, it is the combinations of perfections and
imperfections that make them wonderful.
The following list is a selection of qualities that make for the perfect serenade -- with some personality:
Song everyone knows. It is such a
buzzkill when all you want to do is nod along to your favorite popular song,
and they bring out a song you’ve never heard before. Most likely, we will still
sit in awe, anyways, but choose a good song. Be careful with slow songs. I am
all for a slower song, as long as it is sandwiched between upbeat songs, or you make the song interesting enough to keep the attention.
Flowers. Girls love
it when you bring flowers to your serenades; it makes them feel special. Try to
have at least four or five. When you have less than that, girls tune out
because they think there is no shot at getting a rose from you.
Guy in the back who has no idea what he is doing. He is usually tall, with a glazed-over look in his eyes. It’s as if
you can see through to his soul, and no one is really home no matter how hard
he tries. He is always a few seconds behind everyone with the hand motions, and
because he is so tall, it is not hidden very well.
Name of the sorority is mentioned. Somehow, work their mascot or their sorority name into the song.
It will usually result in whoops of adoration and approval, so go for it. Also, do not say the wrong sorority name. You could have the most perfect
serenade ever, but if you call us by the wrong name, or forget which house you’re
at, let’s just say it will not be well received.
Overzealous and tone deaf guy. He is usually standing in the front, adding his own hand gestures
and facial expressions. He knows all the words and the timing is perfect,
however, he sounds like a dying cow. You really want to like this guy because everything
else is on point, but the screeching in your eardrums does not lie.
Give the rose to the unsuspecting girl. I know you all see it, the blood-thirsty, rose-hungry girl who is on the edge of her seat. She is daring you, no -- threatening you to
give her a rose, and she has probably got all the roses from the
past serenaders because she bullies them with her eyes. My advice -- give the
rose to the girl who listens attentively, laughs at the jokes, and smiles
warmly. These are the girls who deserve it, and these are the girls who will
remember you.
Smoldering guitar player or song leader. He is probably the only one who knows anything about music, and
you can find him playing some kind of instrument during the serenade or leading
the songs. He rolls his eyes at the guys who sing the wrong words, or come in way
too early, but it is not in a mean way; it is definitely an affectionate eye
roll.
Own it. If your serenade is amazing, own it. If you are
well aware that your serenade sucks, own it. Some of the most memorable
serenades I have ever seen are really good, and so bad, that they are awesome. As
long as you look like you are having fun, we are going to have fun. So go up
there and give it your all. I promise, you have hundreds of strong and fun women
who are rooting for you.
