Majoring in Human Rights and Women, Gender, & Sexualities Studies at UConn, the annual SlutWalk organized by the student organization Revolution Against Rape (RAR) is spoken of as a renown movement: one that aims to facilitate change for those who have endured sexual violence. While I am now a junior, this was my first time being able to attend the event, and I can honestly say it was the greatest, most rewarding experience I’ve had so far here at UConn. It is not easy to find a public space that makes you feel safe and allows you to feel that the stories you’ve long suppressed matter to people.

Hearing the personal experiences of both women and men who have been assaulted, raped, molested and abused, who battle the vicious voices in their heads that try to convince them it’s their fault, was utterly heartbreaking. Why must we live in a world where we are afraid to report the violations done to our bodies? Why have we been trained to believe that rape culture is a normal, inevitable component of our lives? When will the silence be broken? When will the violence finally end? All these questions, and so few responses.

I was in awe of the courage and bravery that radiated from the survivors who stepped on stage, demanding that their voices be heard. I was grateful to be a part of this miraculous experience of empowerment that was brought by the willingness to expose their pain. Yet, I did not expect how triggering and moving their voices would be. So much that I would swallow the shame and disgust my mind desired me to submit to, walk up to the stage, reach for the microphone and closed my eyes as I waited for the anticipation to subside.The first words were the most difficult to speak — to force myself to make a sound that signified I too had a story to share. It was the most remarkable feeling in the world, speaking to a group of people who knew and empathized with this pain; being outside where bystanders and those passing by could potentially hear the words miraculously forming off my lips, despite the tremors in my voice and the tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t believe I was publicly speaking about my attacker, about the one who made me feel most vulnerable, about the source of the panic attacks that arise with every unwanted male touch, about the monster who makes the thought of dating unbearable.

For so long I was afraid of what people would think, but now, I realize that doesn’t matter, because speaking at SlutWalk was the most liberating experience of my life. Before I convinced myself to go on stage, I remember thinking that with silence, no change can occur. With silence, the violence will never end. It was important for me to go up on stage with my fellow survivors to share the pain, depression and suicidal thoughts we feel as a result of what we’ve been through. It was time for me to stop hiding from what had happened, to admit that it changed me, to show that it does not define me.

I do not refer to those who have been subjected to sexual violence as victims because we are so much more than that. We are survivors — we live every day with the aftermath of our attacks. We endure the pain, shed the tears, process the hate and feel the disgust, all the while allowing it to transform ourselves into stronger beings. Our experiences are our own, and while they differ in range and circumstance, they are traumas that unite us to fight back. We will no longer allow ourselves to accept and suppress these experiences as previous generations were taught to do. No, we must make our voices heard by sharing our experiences with one another, by proving that we are not alone. It is only then that we can begin to have this systemic violence eradicated.

Yet, it doesn’t end there. While the UConn Slutwalk provides dedication and support for the survivors, the UConn administration has yet to appropriately respond. Where were you, Susan Herbst? Where were you when your students we chanting, “Break the silence, stop the violence?" We know you are aware of this epidemic occurring on college campuses all over the country, that rape culture exists in every aspect of our lives (with much thanks to the brave women at UConn who challenged the system three years ago). So where are you? Do you stand with us or against us? Will you protect us or attack us? Will you be like Senator Mae Flexer, who is working to find justice for survivors? Will you show the Senator’s compassion and willingness to fight for our rights to our bodies? Will you be another prominent voice in this fight for change?

This is the time for every single person to not only share their stories, but to peacefully demand that those in authority take our words seriously. While this may take time, I find comfort in knowing that we have each other. I owe many thanks to RAR, members of UConn’s National Organization for Women chapter, the Senator, the Sexual Assault Crisis Center of Eastern Connecticut, the supporters, my

best friend, and the survivors for giving me back that part of myself that was afraid to heal, for changing my perspective, and for giving me the strength to have my voice heard.