"I just want to be happy." How many times has the ordinary person heard that from someone when they are asked what their main goal in life is? Plenty. That phrase is repeated so many times to the point where the underlying meaning behind it has been revoked.
According to a TED talk titled, "There's more to life than being happy," by Emily Esfahani Smith, talks about this similar problem. It's the problem where people are romanticizing the idea of happiness to a point where that is the only goal they have in life. As human beings, we want to believe that if we work hard enough, we will end up being successful with no problems whatsoever. Though the successful part may or may not be correct, we can't necessarily escape from life's struggles.
Smith isn't saying that we shouldn't strive to only be happy, but rather take four instances into account as well. She stated that the four pillars are belonging, purpose, transcendence, and story telling. The focus of her talk surrounded taking the path that leads us to understanding the meaning of life instead of searching for the "ideal" aspects.
One of the pillars, belonging, discusses the aspect of strong relationships and being valued by others as well as valuing others' own opinions. Purpose is about "using the strengths to serve others" as directly quoted by Smith. Transcendence is when someone is freed from their natural surroundings and connects with another reality. Story telling relates to how someone understands themselves.
These pillars all are known to give a strengthening purpose in life.
After I watched this TED Talk, I took some time to reflect on my life and what I view happiness as. A lot of people view happiness in similar ways such as how one ideally views themselves in the future with little to no struggles or mistakes.
As much as we would all live a life like this, that is unfortunately not how life works. As we work to achieve that goal of happiness, we forget to cherish our surroundings and little moments. We exaggerate the impact of the good and dismiss the impact of the bad. In reality, the failures we encounter everyday are just as important as all of the positive aspects because they help us grow and learn.
Having a set goal in mind is a good start, but making sure to set time aside for self-reflection is important. It gives us a greater meaning in life and that ultimately allows us to be happier since we're more aware of the details that make life so great and unique.
The four pillars of meaning that Smith stated is a suitable start for someone who wants to make a mental lifestyle change right away.
So the next time you answer that question of what goal you really want to accomplish in life, make sure to acknowledge what purpose you really want to get out of life. Dig deeper than just the simple, one-word answer: "happiness." You will find your answer somewhere and you will get the most out of it.
