Before You Commit, Make Sure He's Worth It

Before You Commit, Make Sure He's Worth It

One day, you'll fall in love with someone you will inevitably need to let go.

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Make sure he's worth it; that guy you'll lose sleep over. The one you'll choose to have your heart and do with it whatever he pleases until you realize that you need it back. Make sure he's worth the weight you'll gain when you start skipping the gym just to spend time with him, and the weight you'll gain when you start eating heart-shaped chocolates by the box while you cuddle a pillow alone, watching romantic comedies where everything goes wrong but, somehow, still ends up right.

Make sure you understand that when he doesn't chase you in the rain, or down his driveway, or text you back, or ask for a second chance, that's the same as everything turned out right in those movies you love. This is just the kind of right that doesn't make money in the box office but does make a heck of wonder out of you.

Make sure he's really worth it.

You'll start praying for him more than you do your own family, shamefully so but incredibly true, so make sure he's worth all the blessings he'll never have any idea are coming from your forehead pressed to the floor in sujood. Be prepared to think about him a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Like so much you'll worry you're not really over him, three years after you've already convinced yourself four different times that you are totally over him.

You'll think about him when you're lonely, which will be often. You'll think about him when you see a full moon and remember his eyes or the way you both looked at the same moon from different parts of the country that one time you romanticized how lucky you were to be a girl in love in Hawaii, while he was still on the Florida beach where you fell for him.

You'll think about him a lot while you're PMS'ing.

You'll cuss him out at random in your car, and cry at small things he used to do like looking right past you, and never holding you tight enough.

Make sure he's worth it all. Every tear, every poem, every diary entry, every whisper to the stars, every song that makes you think of him, and every dream you wake up from and text him after, "Hey. Just dreamt about you again. I hope you're doing well. Miss you." Make sure he's worth that "Miss you" because you will miss him, no matter how badly you beg yourself not to. You'll love him long, long after you are not in love with him anymore, so make sure he is worth being the one who teaches you the difference between need and desire, heartbreak and healing pains, loss and overcoming.

Make sure when he calls you beautiful, and you believe him, you thank him somehow for being the first person to ever make you believe in that fact. Make sure you are honest with him for why you leave, or you'll never forgive yourself for it later. Tell him "it's not you, it's me" because you will finally understand what the hell that statement means, and why it's so popular. You will most definitely be the problem. He will be busy living the life of the carefree twenty-something bachelor, gorgeous and talented, on a path to everything he deserves and more, and you will be there right behind him with your prayers and your love and applause. But no matter how badly your mom and your little sister want him to be the one because he will win them over with his charisma and his impressive sneaker collection, you will not be on that path beside him. You will realize that although a year older than you, the boy you are in love with is not the man you have been waiting for, and you will know it before you'll know how to tell him.

But make sure you tell him anyway. Practice saying the phrase "I love you, but" in the mirror until your jaw aches and you can say it in your sleep. Practice what comes after the "but". Practice telling him you deserve more than love that isn't coming back to you. Practice telling him that nineteen years of self-love has taught you exactly how to be enough for yourself, and you are not willing to compromise an ounce of your worth just to justify his. Tell him you can't, because as much as you'd like to pretend differently, that self-love did not come easily. It's been a marathon of eating disorders and body dysmorphia fits of rage and family histories of mental illness, name calling, and backbiting, and crying and crying and crying. None of which he will know about because, well, he never asked.

And that is okay. It is more than okay because it will make leaving so much easier. You will not be leaving any of yourself behind that didn't already belong to him before you knew him, and while it won't help the pain, it might help the act of healing from it quite a bit. So take full responsibility for wanting more from your life than he can provide, and let the rose colored glass of the house you built for him shatter as you slam the door on your way out of it.

This relationship, your dear heart, is a broken thing to be proud of.

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10 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Be Mad At You

In a relationship it's not always sunshine and rainbows...

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Relationships. It is always nice starting up a new relationship because everything is so new and exciting. You manage to think everything your significant other says or does is cute.

After a few months that happy bubble bursts, and suddenly your girlfriend is getting mad at you for all kinds of reasons.

Here are 10 reasons why your girlfriend might be mad at you:

1. You have selective hearing.

It's wonderful when your significant other conveniently forgets things you discuss or tunes you out because they are either focused on something else or they don't want to deal with whatever it is that you are talking about. You get my sarcasm here right??

2. Your texting is not the greatest.

How hard is it to pick up your phone and send a "good morning" text? Or simply respond to texts within a decent amount of time? You don't have to respond within seconds, but taking several hours to respond is annoying and makes her feel like she is not important enough to get a text back.

3. You didn't read her mind.

She's having a bad day. You assume she wants her space because of her anger, when in reality, she was hoping you would come over and comfort her. Now she's mad that you didn't come chill and be grumpy together.

4. She had a dream that you did something bad.

How dare you cheat on her with that girl in her dream?! Even though it wasn't real, she will probably wake up disgusted and hold it against you for the rest of the day.

5. You're always late.

"I'll be there at 5:00." *Arrives at 5:30. * Even when you just have plans to stay in, plans are plans. Your girlfriend probably rushed trying to get ready for you and to show up late doesn't make it seem like you respect her time.

6. She gave you options but you made the wrong choice.

Go see the latest Marvel movie or see a rom-com? Of course, you're going to pick the Marvel movie even though she really wanted to see the rom-com. Ooops.

7. The toilet seat.

…Just put the freaking seat down!!!

8. She feels underappreciated.

Sometimes in relationships we get so comfortable that we forget to make sweet gestures to show we appreciate one another.

9. One-word responses.

Nothing is more annoying than sending your significant other a text or explaining something that is basically as long as a novel and getting a one-word response like "ok" or "oh." So cool.

10. You don't make her a priority.

Sure, there is no problem with family and work being a priority in your life. What gets annoying is when you can't seem to make family, work, AND your girlfriend a priority. Make sure you aren't making her feel like she is an option or a way to pass time.


Relationships are a lot of work. Make sure you are communicating with your partner, even about the unpleasant stuff. She can't stay mad at you forever if you are genuinely trying to be the best boyfriend to her you can be!

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5 Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be A Dirty Rotten Cheater

Now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you.

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I just spent the last week with my jaw on the floor after the discovery that my best friend spent the better part of 2 years with a guy who was actually cheating ( a lot ) basically the entire length of their relationship. And now that we have Valentine's Day behind us, I finally feel comfortable bursting your precious love bubble and giving you the real tea on how all of those things you're questioning about your boyfriend are probably just signs he's cheating on you. If you encounter any of the following 5 signs, then girl you better get the hell outta dodge.

1. You NEVER get the invite to family gatherings.

Holidays

Brunch with the fam? He's not calling you. Christmas Eve at Aunt Sheryl's? He's not calling you. His sister's birthday party? He's definitely not calling you. It may not seem like a big deal at first, but if he has met your mom, your dad, and your cousins and still isn't inviting you to come along, it's probably because he doesn't want his mom to get confused that he had a totally different girl over last week.

2. He can't stand you being anywhere near his phone.

Cheater's Phone

I would think this one is an obvious red flag, but you'd be surprised how many people believe guys who say they just want you to "respect their privacy." If he is constantly texting, snapping and shoving his phone into his pocket immediately after hitting that lock screen, you may very well be in for a world of hurt. If it's going off at 2 AM, well girl, I shouldn't have to say more to convince you he's cheating.

3. You rarely go out in public.

Dating

I know, I know, he's told you a hundred times that he's just a homebody and would rather be snuggled up watching "Catfish" with you than going out anywhere, but that's probably because he is just scared you guys will run into his other girlfriend. If you do end up going out, it's always out of town or something loud and crowded like a concert where you guys would be hard to spot.

4. He NEVER wants to post about you two on social media.

Cell Phone

He says stuff like "Oh, I just don't feel the need to publicize our love." or maybe "I have a crazy ex and I don't want her to harass you online." Those are both actually just lies. What he really wants to say is "I just don't want evidence and time stamps of our relationship in case I get caught." The best is when they tell you about how they like girls who are off the grid. Sounds like a cheater to me...

5. He's constantly accusing you of cheating.

Accusing

Most girls I know will chalk this up to him just being a jealous guy. But let me tell you something honey, nothing makes you more paranoid than a guilty conscious. If every time you two argue, it divulges into him saying he's not sure if he can trust you or that you have too many guy friends or that he wonders what you're doing on nights without him, well he's probably just manifesting his own fears.

There are no promises here that he is definitely cheating, and if you really trust your man then more power to you. But if any of these signs had you thinking about your own relationship, then I highly recommend that you move on to the next one girl. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, even fish who won't cheat on you!

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