“She lost him. But she found herself. And somehow, that was everything.”

This quote, which appears at the end of Taylor Swift’s “Out of the Woods” music video, is hugely powerful when one understands the video’s context. When I first viewed the video on New Year’s Eve, when it was first released, I did not care for it. I didn’t understand what it all meant, until I watched it several more times. The song was about Harry Styles, and it described the fragile nature of their relationship. The video begins with Taylor on a gorgeous, peaceful beach, facing the water, gazing far away. Trees start to grow around her, and the video proceeds to follow her facing multiple obstacles among the elements. She is chased by wolves, running barefoot through the snow, climbing through the mud, running from flames, and struggling in many other ways. At certain parts she thinks she has escaped and made it “out of the woods”, like when she jumps off of the cliff, but then she lands in the water, and has to survive her next obstacle. She’s fighting and surviving, and then eventually appears back on the original beach, looking at her past self from the beginning of the video. She walks out of the woods, tired and covered in mud. She approaches her previous self, taps her on the shoulder, and then the quote appears. Old Taylor is innocent and naïve. New Taylor is weathered from her experiences, but leaves the woods stronger than she was when she had entered it. The mud on her body represents how the woods affected her, and are apart of her now. Her relationship with Harry was an obstacle, and it eventually had to end. However, the lessons she learned from being “in the woods” of that relationship are highly valuable and make up the substance of her new self. She viewed the breakup as a blessing in disguise, because she learned and developed into a new, stronger self.

I got on the plane to London, carrying my luggage and high hopes for my semester abroad. I decided to study abroad to enhance myself with unique experiences. I wanted to grow with new influences, and become a better person from it. This was when I entered the woods.

Study abroad was my woods. Even though I had some of the most beautiful moments of my life there, I also faced some of the most challenging obstacles. I experienced the highest highs and lowest lows.

I’ll hop on my plane back to America tomorrow, carrying with me more luggage than I came with, and also that growth that I was looking for. I’m leaving the woods as my best version of myself. I have learned and grown immensely.

How I grew is the important part, because I acquired this new part of myself in unpredictable ways. What I learned will be apart of my identity forever.

“Looking at it now, it all seems so simple” is the opening line of Taylor’s song. As I am reflecting on my experiences, I can encapsulate the three major lessons I learned:

1: Independence. 2: Interactions. 3: Approach.

Lesson 1 has to do with me, lesson 2 has to do with other people, and lesson 3 has to do with places. Let me explain.

1: Independence.

“She found herself, and somehow, that was everything.”

Study abroad forces you to become fiercely independent. Some believe that the transition from high school to college accomplishes this, but this is independence to a whole new level. My family and friends were miles away, on another continent. I was living with 7 other strangers in a tiny, old apartment. I experienced culture-shock, where nothing was in my familiar and easy comfort zone. Everything was new, but this wasn’t a bad thing. I was forced to adapt to this brand new life, quickly. I learned that you need to be your own best friend. Europe is vast, and there is so much to see, do, and experience. What I wanted to see and do often conflicted with what my friends wanted to see and do, or what the “group” wanted.

I was used to my friends at home having a lot of the same interests as me, but that wasn’t always the case with my new, study abroad friends. You can follow the group consensus and rely on others, or you can ensure that you do what you want on your own terms. I decided that I would do what I wanted, no matter what. For example, I wanted to see the Cliffs of Moher when in Ireland. We were staying in Dublin, but I wanted to see some more beautiful, traditional Irish green countryside. The group of people I was with did not want to go, for various reasons. Instead of staying in Dublin with everyone else, I decided to go see the cliffs alone. I booked my ticket for the bus tour, and I spent the day exploring by myself. It ended up being one of my favorite days during study abroad! “I walked out and said, "I'm settin' you free” is what Taylor said in the song. I set free the expectations that you have to stick with a group, and did what I wanted. Luckily, it was everything I wanted and more. Study abroad has taught me that a day by myself is not only good for my mental health, but it also shows me how much I genuinely enjoy and appreciate who I am, which is important. In the end of the day, YOU are all you have. I learned to be my own best friend. I am now confident in getting around and traveling- with or without others.

2: Interactions.

“Are we out of the woods, are we in the clear yet?”

In life, I have found that I can quickly tell if I “click” with someone, or not. People either understand you, or they don’t understand you at all. The key is holding on to the ones who appreciate you, and finding a way to be peaceful with the ones who you do not click with. It’s easier to avoid these people who don’t understand you, and sometimes you eventually find that it is best to do that, but you should always try to be on good terms with them first. This insight took a while for me to learn. I was faced with some people during this semester that I didn’t necessarily mesh well with. Strong personalities can clash easily. In the beginning, fights would occur. I faced obstacles, just like Taylor did in her video. These fights were more common especially during the time when everyone was adapting to this brand new experience in their own ways. At the time, making my way through the woods was really hard to cope with.

However, with time, I thought about how to make the situation better. I learned how to be more flexible and agreeable with others to avoid conflict, while still maintaining my own opinions. I wouldn’t forfeit myself to avoid conflict, but instead I found better ways to communicate my opinions. Now I am better at keeping the peace on the surface with people who aren’t necessarily my favorite. I also learned more about the importance of who you choose to surround yourself with. Be with people who enhance you and make you happy. Spend less time with those who detract from who you are. That way, when you have to be around the people who don’t match your energy, you won’t resent them, but instead appreciate your differences from afar. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, and it is important to consider that not everyone thinks in the same way that you do. The obstacles forced me to learn this, so I am thankful for them.

3: Approach.

“The rest of the world was in black and white, but we were in screaming color”

When I arrived in London, I quickly realized how easy it was to travel around Europe during study abroad. My weekends and experiences became much more vivid and exciting than they had been at home. Instead of staying in one place weekend after weekend at school in New York, I started traveling to different countries almost every weekend. I visited England, Wales, Denmark, Sweden, Italy, Spain, France, the Netherlands, Ireland, and Germany, all throughout the course of one semester. It is going to be strange to return home to the States and recover from this unique pace of life that I was lucky enough to live. However, I am not returning to America with disappointment that my life won’t be exciting anymore. I’m returning with a brand new attitude. Life can be just as colorful in the States as it was in Europe. With this newly acquired attitude, I am going to make a point to explore all the places I can. I have a new energy and motivation to go see and do different things, instead of sticking to a routine status quo. I’m going to research what’s going on around me, and remember that its fun to get lost in a new place sometimes. I go to school in New York, and there is so much that I haven’t seen or done yet. I look forward to taking complete advantage of that when I return to school. It’s all about trying new things, and always keeping an open mind! Take advantage of where you are, and make the best out of everything! Do it all, and do it right. Life is an adventure- explore!

“The monsters turned out to be just trees”.

When I faced challenges, I thought they were inconvenient. Now, looking back, these obstacles were huge learning moments. The monsters were trees. They weren’t all bad; they were opportunities for growth! As I mentioned earlier, I came into study abroad with the intent of enhancing myself with new experiences. I gained this growth, and new part of myself, through obstacles that I didn’t expect to be so valuable! It is clear that Taylor felt the same way about her turbulent relationship with Harry. Even though it was hard, and she got tired and dirty in the process, she stepped out of the woods a better person than who she was when she stepped in. I can confidently say that “I’m in the clear” as I return to the States. Taylor found a very important part of herself from the challenges she faced, and so did I. I’m forever changed - for the better.