Like Harry Potter, I lived in a broom closet under the stairs for the majority of my childhood, and like Harry Potter, magic saved me. However, unlike Harry Potter, my closet is a metaphor, and the magic that saved me was kissing girls. Surprise! I’m gay; insert confetti emoji here. And after all these years of hiding this part of myself, it feels so good to write those words: I’m gay. There’s a certain release of energy a person has after coming out, and it’s hard to get someone to empathize with those personal feelings and emotions. So I plan on using Harry Potter as a metaphor for my coming out experience, as a means to bridge our mutual understandings of life’s muggle struggles.
For many, growing up gay in a “Straights Only” world is somewhat similar to Harry’s experience with the Dursley family. He is neglected simply out of the fear of the unknown, simply because they don’t know his strength. Anyone who identifies in the LGBTQ+ community has this extraordinary opportunity to be happy and make a difference when he, she or they come out. But your family and society are often apathetic and will dehumanize you for being different, like the Dursley family did to Harry.
Even the smallest gestures can scare you from coming out. For instance, when I was around 5, my mom and I were watching the part of the "Wedding Planner" (ft. JLo and Alright-Alright-Alright McConaughey) where the two are dancing, and JLo asks Matt if he’s gay, because he’s good at dancing. I didn’t know what gay meant, and I was curious to know. When I asked my mom, she said “It’s just not a nice name to call somebody.” This moment has lasted through my memory for so long because it was the first memory I have where I was told it wasn’t ok to be gay.
The struggle to overcome your personal homophobia is one of hardest steps in the coming out journey. For me, it took me until I was 15, and head over heels in love with my best friend, and local scene queen. Realizing I had feelings for her was when I came out to myself. Imagine Hagrid saying “You’re a lesbian, Jessie,” and then he takes you to a private school where you’re sorted into houses of values and interests. For the fun of it, I made a list of lesbian stereotypes and their corresponding Hogwarts House:
Gryffindor: Hard Butch
Ravenclaw: Soft Butch
Hufflepuff: Hard Femme
Slytherin: Soft Femme
And sure, being gay in this world is hard. You have to fight for every single right that you have. You have to fight for life, safety and happiness; but you have this incredible opportunity to find yourself in a community that will love you and accept you for being the best you. You have this magical ability to fight to make the world a better place for future kids to come out in. You are magic. I am magic. We are magic.
