Let me tell you a secret, one that the university doesn’t want you to know or believe: Meal plans are kind of terrible. Sure, they post decent-looking pictures of the food on their Facebook page. Sure, they advertise all kinds of “yummy” special food selections—cake pop night, for example (and who doesn’t love cake pops?). And sure, they emphasize the convenience of having a meal plan.

But here’s what they don’t tell you: The food is awful, terrible for you, and the meal plans are way over priced.

Sadly, for anyone living on campus, having a meal plan is a requirement. And for commuters, it’s sometimes much easier to grab lunch on campus than to leave and risk losing your parking spot. That’s why I’ve laid out the good and bad about each of the University of Toledo’s dining options for you:

First up, we have Rocky’s, one of the few on-campus dining options that actually tastes incredible.

Pros: Delicious, can use meal swipes or dining dollars.

Cons: The line is usually extremely long when you’re extra hungry, they sometimes take forever getting your food to you, and each order they make probably contains more calories than any one person should eat in an entire day.

The bottom line: it’s good, but definitely not an everyday go-to… unless you’re really trying to gain that freshman 15.

Next, Parks

Pros: Convenient, especially if you’re actually living in Parks Tower and it’s -26 degrees outside and walking anywhere else is too much of a struggle. There’s a take-out window for breakfast and lunch on weekdays which is sort of a life saver if you’re starving but short on time. Also, Taco Tuesdays!

Cons: The food is oftentimes subpar (except for the take-out lunch options—especially the chicken strips) and it’s the same almost every night. Probably the worst of all the actual dining halls. Also, there was one instance last semester when I wanted a sandwich and the guy working that stand had to go through four loaves of bread to find one that wasn’t moldy. Yum! Another note: I’ve heard that Parks and the POD have THE grossest kitchens ever.

The bottom line: They have Taco Tuesdays. The chicken strips are great. There’s a convenient take-out window. It’s not such a bad place.

Ottawa East

Pros: Open later for breakfast on weekend days, so you can sleep in and still get the breakfast food you’re wanting. Also, the music in Ottawa is hands down the best out of all the dining halls.

Cons: Same thing to eat. Every. Single. Day.

The bottom line: On the weekends, Ottawa is one of your only options, so it’s a good thing they’re always playing decent music.

International House (a.k.a. "I House")

Pros: If you’re a social hermit, this is the place for you because hardly anyone actually goes to I-House. I think most of us forget it even exists (unless you live there).

Cons: They’ve pretty much always got the same things to eat.

The bottom line: Unless you’re an I-House resident or you’re trying to hide from the world, it’s probably not worth making the walk to eat there.

Student Union South Dining

Pros: Their food is the best out of the all-you-can-eat dining hall options. They serve pretty much the same food every day, but again, it’s somehow always better than I-House, Ottawa, or Parks. At lunch time, you can get them to make you some phenomenal sandwiches. Also, their waffle maker imprints your waffles with the UT-logo, while the one in Ottawa just makes boring, logo-free waffles. Definite bonus.

Cons: Because it’s located in the student union, it’s almost always packed. This is where the tour groups eat, so during lunch time most days, you have to deal with numerous curious little high school students and their parents and (sometimes) little siblings. Another con: They usually have the same food every day. If you haven’t noticed, that’s sort of a trend in our dining halls.

The bottom line: if you have the choice between South, Parks, Ottawa and I-House, pick South.

Subway

Pros: It’s Subway.

Cons: It’s always busy thanks to its convenient Student Union-location.

The bottom line: How can you ever go wrong with Subway?

Pizza Hut Express

Pros: It’s Pizza Hut and they usually have whatever you want already made for you, so it’s a quick grab-and-go-type-thing.

Cons: It’s always busy thanks to it’s convenient Student Union location.

The bottom line: How can you ever go wrong with Pizza Hut?

Starbucks

Pros: Uh… duh? It’s Starbucks!

Cons: Starbucks is, sadly, a pretty expensive choice. And there’s almost always a mile-long line, so if you’re planning on getting coffee before class, allow an extra 20 minutes in line.

The bottom line: How can you ever go wrong with Starbucks?

Agave

Pros: Towards the end of last year, they introduced quesadillas and walking tacos. Also, because all of their food (minus the walking tacos) tastes terrible, there’s never much of a line, so you can get in and out quickly. It was also rumored that Agave may end up being replaced, but who knows whether or not that’s true.

Cons: They’re a terrible imitation of Chipotle.

The bottom line: If you’re craving Chipotle, just go to Chipotle. Seriously. It’s like a four minute drive.

Croutonz

Pros: It’s like a Subway/Chipotle/Piada, but for salads.

Cons: They held a competition asking students to rename them (back when it was still “Croutons”) and the winner simply changed the last “s” to a “z”. After that, I lost a lot of respect for them. Also, there’s always a long line.

The bottom line: If you want a salad, they’re a pretty good choice.

Magic Wok

Pros: Un-authentic Asian food… what’s not to love?

Cons: Un-authentic Asian food… what’s not to hate?

The bottom line: Sometimes you just really want orange chicken, and there’s nowhere else on campus to get it.

The Convenience Stores (a.k.a. the PODs)

Pros: There’s one on the Engineering campus, one in Carter, one in I-House, and one in the Student Union, so they’re conveniently located.

Cons: You will pay approximately 6 times whatever you’d pay in the grocery store for items that you get from the POD.

The bottom line: Unless you want to drive to Walmart or Kroger, you’re probably going to have to suck it up and pay $5 for a bag of Doritos.

Unmentioned: Phoenicia Cuisine

I personally have never eaten here, nor do I know of anyone who has. In fact, I almost forgot it even existed.