A year ago, I graduated from high school. A year ago I was an emotional wreck because of this. A year ago, I was not the same person that I am today, one who is done with their first year of college.
My high school was a bit different than most. My whole school in fact was a lot different than most. My graduating class had about 112 students, my high school had around 400 students, and my whole school, preschool through 12th grade, had about 1300 students. It was small. I had only spent my four years of high school there, while some of my classmates had been there since preschool, pretty much their entire life, which is why they received the title of being a "Lifer." When many hear that some kids have only been to one school their whole life, they are shocked. I was too the first few time when I met kids like this, since this school was going to be my 4th. It wasn't until my junior year there that I understood why so many kids stuck around for the long haul.
First off, with a small school comes a small and very close community. I had never experienced a community quite like this before. Everyone knew practically everything about each other, which was both a pro and a con. It caused some people to be extremely close, while others were not and actually strongly disliked each other. Rumors and secrets spread quickly and most of people's lives were not private.
Secondly, everyone cared about each other. People looked out for each other and wanted others to succeed. There was always at least one person there who was there for you, whether it was a classmate, teacher, or faculty member. I can only speak for myself, but I never truly felt alone while I was at this school. I felt like I was cared for and was truly liked by others.
My first semester of college I remember talking on the phone with one of my closest friends from back home who I graduated with and who is now studying at Tufts University. I told her during one my rants about being homesick, "I would give anything to be able and go relive those past four years of high school." I think back on those words that I once said and even though I don't regret them, I can't say that truthfully at this time. Yes, I loved my time in high school. I had great friends, a handful opportunities, and a close community. But I don't want to go back. There is a reason that it's in the past.
College has opened my eyes and I've learned far more about myself than I ever did in high school. In high school, everyone is too worried about fitting in, as cliche as that sounds. But it's completely true! It's hard to make new friends when your old ones abandon you or you grow apart from them. You feel alone. Yet in college, if you don't like the people that you are around, there are so many more different kinds of people that you can gravitate towards. It's a time to truly find yourself, and find out what you like and what you believe in. There's no one there to be telling you what to think or what to do. Your opinions are only influenced by you! It's a time to make your own decisions. In high school, you have parents and teachers constantly telling you how to live your life. And yes even in college, your parents and adults have somewhat of a control over you, it' nothing compared to how it was before. It's more guidance than anything, and if you choose not to follow it, it's your own decision as an adult. It's one of the most liberating things I've ever experienced.
A year ago I would not have been able to tell you how independent I've become. A year ago I would not have been able to tell you that I know look back at those four years spent in high school as just a quick stop and not the final destination. A year ago if I had met a genie or some other mythical being and they said to me "I can let you relive those four years again," I would have said yes without a doubt. And now a year later if that same genie/mythical being offered that to me, I would say confidently "Mmmm, better not."
