not so close friends

My Friends And I Aren’t That Close Anymore But I Still Love Them

Because memories are just as powerful as making new adventures.

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When I started college, I knew that to assimilate better to life there, I should join a club. It took a while to find the right group; I didn't want to surround myself with facetious or obnoxious people after all.

I eventually found a club that valued spirituality and faith. The group of college Christians welcomed me with joy and laughter. Even though I had issues with mental illness, they focused on my identity as a Christian rather than my depression. They encouraged me to be more open and have faith.

Some graduated and moved away for better career opportunities. Some interned at the club or stayed involved somehow. But those who I was close within the club preferred to keep their distance. After one of my friends' engagement fell through, she didn't crave intimacy with the others from the group. So then it became only the five of us.

Two friends out of my group were more focused on their academics and gossiping; they eventually left and found new people to hang out with. Then I removed myself from the group due to feelings of insecurity. It wasn't until I reached out when I felt lonely that I realized though that I could still have the greatest friendships despite not being close to each other anymore.

I want to say that I don't have anything against them for the dissipation of our friendships. But when it was happening, I didn't. I was very resentful for watching my friendships fall apart, and so quickly. I wanted to repair them.

But it takes two to fix any relationship. While I wanted my friends back, they had to want me back too. It almost hurt when they moved on. It felt like they were rejecting me.

I learned that my friendships will bring out the best in me and my worst. So when I reached out, it was my way of making peace with not only them but myself. I couldn't beat myself up for having any friends because I did. I just didn't have them presently.

I also learned that I can still love my friends for what they had taught me. I can still honor them and send them a text saying, "thinking of you." Because our lives are mainly there, in the experiences we have had with one another, and not the number of friends on our social media accounts.

You make friends as a way to connect to something larger than yourself. It's a conscious choice. Probably one of the most valuable too because your friends will mold you into the type of person you're going to be.

So even though my friends from college and I are no longer close, I still have to thank them for all the memories we've had. Out-of-state conferences and late nights full of singing. Having in-depth conversations about God and faith. And I love them despite being distant now because they've shown me how to grow in faith and as a person.

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To My Best Friend Who Taught Me What True Friendship Is, I Can't Thank You Enough

"To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding."
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Dear Best Friend,

You have been a part of my life for quite some time now. You have seen my good, bad, and ugly sides and have stuck by my side through it all. I don't know if I could ever find the words to truly thank you for everything your friendship has given me, but I am definitely going to try.

Our lives have taken some twist and turn these past few years, but we have stayed strong through it all.

Thank you for judging me just the right amount.

Throughout our friendship, I have made some very questionable decisions. A lot of people would say "thanks for never judging me," but I feel like everyone needs a best friend who's going to tell them how it is, to tell them when they are about to make a bad decision or how to avoid something worse from happening. You have always told me how it is (even when I don't always want to hear it), but I know that I can come to you whenever I need someone to set me straight.

You're always down to do nothing with me.

I think that you are the one person that I can call up to hang out and do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. From the nights sitting in and playing card games to ordering Chinese food and watching an entire Netflix series while I dance around with the cat: I know that we could do anything, and nothing together and it would be fun.

But also, you're always down to get lit with me.

I swear one day we will be two old moms at a bar drinking vodka crans and laughing about the stupid shit our husbands and children do. You're always down to go out and have a good time. Even if everyone else we're with is miserable, we find a way to laugh at ourselves.

You are one of the few constant things in my life.

I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but you have stayed by my side through everything. I can't remember the last time we actually fought about anything, but even when we do we can't stay mad at each other for more than a day. I know we will be in each other's lives until we literally keel over.

I want you yo know that you're the strongest person I know.

You've dealt with things that not many people go through ever in their life. You have always been so mature, and you handle everything with grace. You inspire me every day with your goals and successes and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

Above all else, you deserve the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own mind and think that you deserve the things that happen to you, but please know that the only thing you deserve is happiness. Please settle for nothing short of that. It may take a bit to find your happiness, but I will be there every step of the way. You're a remarkable human being, and I want nothing but the best for you.

To the person who will hold your heart someday, please do not break it. To the person who may wrong you, you will regret it forever. To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding.

You, my best friend, future bridesmaid, godmother of my children, the person to bail me out of jail, the one who lets me cry on their couch for twelve hours,

I love you.

I will cherish our friendship forever. Thank you for being you.

Love always,

Your best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Adriana Ranieri

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Dear Fellas, Consistency & Communication Is All We Ask For

So, why aren't we getting the same?

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Dear fellas (who fall under this category of course),

As you can tell from my title, it's time to talk about the problems with MOST guys in today's generation. This article isn't meant to bash all of you, but most of you need a reality check when it comes to. I'll start with this:

It's really annoying when most of you guys start a good conversation with us and then it eventually dies out because you lose interest in us. You even label things as "the talking stage," which to this day, I still don't understand the purpose of that. You come in our messages and go for long periods of time, only to message us weeks later like nothing happened. The excuses are tiring and pathetic, yet you claim that you care and you were just busy with work/school.

READ HERE: Having A 'Talking Stage' Proves Why Millennials Suck At Dating

What I do know, is that if you actually cared about someone, you would be invested in that person and not disappear. We shouldn't always have to be the ones to triple text and make an effort. Once we find our self-worth, its hard to settle for less at this point. If you don't feel the same way, please communicate with us and let us know. There's one thing people hate and that's wasting precious time. If you do "like us," be consistent. We don't appreciate the half-of-everything type.

READ HERE: 25 Annoying Phrases Guys Use When They Aren't Feeling You Anymore

Life is short and it's time to grow up.

Also, notice how I keep saying "most" of you guys. However, if you feel offended by this article, it's probably you who needs to change.

Thank you for coming to my unofficial TED Talk!

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