Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. No matter the time that has passed, you will always be close to my heart and on my mind.

Five years ago I lost you and as these years have passed I know I will always love you. Loosing someone you love will always sting, but loosing you when I was so long stings so much. You never saw me graduate high school, you weren't there to see my first tattoo or the second, which I dedicated to you, you won't see my college graduation, you won't meet my future husband or you great grand kids. You didn't get to see Gavin grow up and see how smart and intelligente he has become. It hurts knowing you missed so much, even if it wasn't your fault.

I was listening to Christmas music recently and my dad asked me why I liked it so much, why Christmas made me so happy. I didn't know how to reply then. But now I know it is because of you. every year, Christmas eve was dedicated to Grandma Nina's house, no doubt about it. I remember the endless, endless desserts and treats you made every year. I never understood how you had the to energy bake so much food. My favorite were the cookies you put on sucker sticks, or maybe the pin wheel cookies..

We don't do that anymore. The family get togethers don't happen anymore. We all kind of fell off once you left us. I know we're all always here for each other, but I know it'll never be the same again. You connected us all, you were always our Nina.

You created my love for Harry Potter. I hope you know that. I still have the Harry Potter series of books you bought me for Christmas one year. They're old now, and torn, but I knew how much you wanted me to read them and enjoy them like you did. And I do, I love the wizarding world so dearly, and everyone knows it. I wish you could have seen the new movie that came out, a spin off of Harry Potter. I know you would have jumped at seeing it, knowing that such a great movie and world hasn't died yet and is still being celebrated every where.

I want to thank you for the time you gave me. All the memories: watching you sew masterpieces, listening to you read Harry Potter to me, eating the vegetables from your garden during the summer, playing in the play house grandpa built for us kids, and so much more. I know you left us too soon, and thinking about the last memory I have of you, the sickness taking over your body, you looked at me and told me you knew I was going to do great things and that you'll always be proud of me. I hope I am and I wish you could see all the great things I've done so far.

I miss you Nina.. You were taken for us too soon and you've given me so many amazing memories.. I just wish I could have you back for one more Christmas..