Is Love Or Respect More Important In A Relationship

Is Love Or Respect More Important In A Relationship

What is the key to a good relationship?
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Respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be. Leo Tolstoy.


Relationships are one of the sweetest things and beautiful gifts nature/God has bestowed upon us. It's meant to be enjoyed and if there are challenges which are meant to be surmounted, but most times, this beautiful gift that is meant to be enjoyed ends up being a source of pain. Love can be crazy when it's not meant to be. Emotions can become wild when all we ever needed to be at that particular time is sane. You hear people say, I love him! Oh! I love her! I just can't help certain things. Some times ladies would say, I'm just cool with anything you know, so far, he keeps loving me, we all have excesses you know, and I love him. And when you look at the issues that warrants these statements, it all boils down to the tussle of Love and Respect.

Sometimes we get carried away by our emotions that we think love is all we need. At times, when we are not carried away, we are displacing Respect to cover Love. I've gotten my heart broken and I've learnt to rise, not forgetting where the balance lies between Love and Respect.

Love is a feeling of strong and constant affection for a person, and in this context, it's all about romantic love. Respect on the other hand, is a feeling of understanding or admiration that something or someone should be treated in an appropriate way. In a relationship, respect may even be more crucial than love. And often times, you can't really separate love from respect because as far as I am concerned, love is respect. How can you not respect someone you claim to love?

So, when you love someone, you respect them, their feelings, privacy, boundaries, decisions, food choices, mode of dressing etc. It is only when you respect your partner that it becomes easy for him/her to do same to you because often times, trust is part of respect. Therefore, your partner might wanna change/sacrifice a little bit or some things for you if he or she sees how much you value them.

Are there any boundaries between Love and Respect?

Well, love isn't all we need. We all need respect, in that, love itself can be egocentric. Love without respect is dangerous and it can literally crush the other person. See, people can love each other and still abuse each other and then, a Believer like me would say, he never really loved her. . . Don't be with a man or a woman because they say I love you all the time, buys you stuff yet insults you in front of your friends and theirs, your family or even lampoons your imperfections. I've heard people say stuff like why do you always chew like a goat? Stop allowing yourself to be abused because sometimes, it's love that makes abuse feel okay. You walk in on your partner sleeping with another lady/man, he probably didn't stop even though he/she saw you and they keep asking you why you stayed and you say, I just love him/her. . .

Love brings bliss to relationships if only tempered with respect. It's not only love that spurs you to warm your partner's bed, cook and clean but it's the awareness that you're doing all of these for someone that loves and respects you. You cannot want one and not want the other. It can make you comfortable for a while or you can tell yourself you are comfortable but the feeling is never going to last.

Finally, to respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection, not your toy, pet or product. It's only when you genuinely respect the individuality of the other person that we can truly love them.

Love is watery without respect.

Cover Image Credit: So Feminine

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The Ultimate College Packing List: Closet

The transition from a walk-in closet to a non-existent dorm closet is a hard one ... My tips and tricks for making the transition smoother!
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Packing for college is a daunting task, and there's a lot of stuff you need to bring.

A fellow Odyssey writer, Taylor Paluczak, recently wrote an article talking about all the things you need to bring for college. If you haven't read it yet and are an incoming freshman, check it out!

There is one huge area of importance that she left out, however: the closet.

Growing up, I was used to having a walk-in closet that was roomy enough to hang all of my clothes, plus an enormous dresser in my room for foldable items.

I knew my closet at college would be way smaller than what I was used to, but I didn't think it would be that bad. So, when packing for college, I packed with a no-piece-of-clothing-left-behind mindset.

Bad idea.

When I arrived at my dorm in the fall, fitting all of my clothing into my closet was a struggle, to say the least. After both my closet, dresser, and the nightstand were filled to the brim with clothing, I was still left with extra pieces that didn't have a home in my tiny shoebox of a room.

This year, I plan on bringing way less stuff. As an incoming freshman, excitement takes over and your head fills with possibilities. Suddenly, you are convinced that of course you have to bring every dress you own - you never know when you'll need it! And that sweater you haven't worn in 4 months? Maybe you'll want it! And, yes, you'll need every one of your old Halloween costumes, just in case.

Trust me - I learned the hard way. Don't bring everything you own with you to college. Here's my list of what I used and what I didn't. Hopefully this makes it easier for you when deciding what to bring with you and what to leave behind.

First things first: Get a double-hanging closet organizer. This baby instantly doubles your closet space, allowing for double the clothes! Because let's be honest -- no matter how hard you try, you're still going to overpack. Also, I would recommend getting thin, non-slip hangers. They take up less space than traditional hangers, and your clothes will never fall off.

Here's my list:

Clothes

  • Lots of underwear and socks
  • Clothes for sleeping/lounging
    • Pajamas
    • Leggings
    • Comfortable t-shirts/sweaters
    • Sweatshirt
  • Workout clothing
    • Running shorts
    • Tank tops
    • Cropped leggings
    • Sports bras
  • Going out clothes
    • Rompers
    • Dresses
    • Printed pants/shorts
    • Skirts
    • Crop tops
    • Tank tops
    • Fun blouses
  • Jeans (only a few pairs)
  • Shorts (only a few pairs)
  • T-shirts/tank tops
  • Casual tops/blouses for class
  • Sweaters
  • Casual dresses
  • Formal dress
  • Rain jacket
  • Vests
  • Coat/jacket for colder weather

Shoes

  • Running shoes
  • Shower shoes!
  • Wedges
  • Sandals
  • Flip flops
  • Converse
  • Riding boots
  • Booties
  • 1 Pair of Heels
    • With wedges as an option, you won't wear heels as much as you would think. Bring one versatile pair that can be used for formal occasions.
  • Rainboots
  • Winter boots
  • Slippers

Accessories

  • Statement necklaces
  • Pendant necklaces
  • Earrings
  • Bracelets and bangles
  • Watch
  • Wallet
  • Cross-body bag
  • Tote bag
  • Backpack
  • Makeup bag
  • Duffel bag for travel
  • Belts
  • Tights
  • Baseball cap
  • Sunglasses
  • Hats/gloves/scarves

You Won't Need: High School T-shirts

Leave behind the high school T-shirts. Honestly. If you plan on joining a sorority, you'll be given more T-shirts than you know what to do with, and the ones you brought from home will sit collecting dust. One or two for sleeping is fine, but any more than that is excessive.

You Will Need: Casual Clothes for Class

Stock up on Nike shorts, leggings, workout tops, and sports bras. Not only can you wear these things to class when you're feeling particularly lazy (hello 8:30 a.m. classes!), but they will come in handy when you go to the rec center to workout. If you're feeling a little more ambitious, jeans/leggings paired with a sweater/flannel or a casual sundress and sandals are perfect options for class.

You Won't Need: "In-Between" Clothes

You know the clothes I'm talking about: they aren't fancy, but they aren't super casual either. You would wear these out to a nice dinner with your family or to church on Sunday. Trust me, there are practically zero occasions that you would need these type of clothes in college. Perhaps it's a good idea to bring along an outfit or two that would be appropriate for an interview or presentation, but other than that, leave them at home!

You Will Need: Going Out Clothes

You'll be going to parties in college, so going out clothes are a must. Going out clothes are different than your nicest Lilly Pulitzer dresses. Think: fun rompers, printed shorts, and cool tank tops. I recommend checking out Forever 21 or Tobi for affordable but fun pieces, because it's likely that these pieces will get spilled on and borrowed by all of your friends. Don't stress if you don't have hundreds of different outfits, either; I guarantee that there will be girls on your hall or in your sorority with closets that you can raid.

You Won't Need: Off-Season Clothes

When you get to school in August, there is no reason you need your winter jacket or cute fall sweaters, no matter how excited you are about your Nordstrom sale purchases. Leave them in a box at home, and your parents can send them to you whenever necessary. Otherwise, you should be able to survive until fall/Thanksgiving break.

You Will Need: Accessories

Statement necklaces, bold earrings, long pendants, fun studs, chunky bangles and big watches - bring them all! Jewelry storage is easy, plus displaying your jewelry acts as a part of your dorm decor. Accessories are perfect for spicing up your outfits and transforming them into a completely different look. This way, instead of buying a new dress, just add a new necklace to your favorite old dress and voilà! A totally new outfit.

You Won't Need: Every Halloween Costume You Own

Halloween is one weekend in the year. Yes, you'll need 2-4 costumes for themed parties, but you will not need your entire costume collection from your childhood. Costumes tend to be bulky, so why have them take up valuable space in your teeny-tiny dorm room? This is a perfect example of something to have your parents ship to you. Before you head off to school in August, pack up some costumes in a box and have your parents mail you it mid-October. Once the holiday weekend is over, bring your costumes back home with you over Thanksgiving break!

You Will Need: Weather-Appropriate Clothing

Depending on your college's location, this could mean rainboots, a winter parka, or a bikini. Be smart. You have to walk to class no matter the weather, so if you're going to school in southern California, chances are you won't need every sweater you own and your heavy-duty winter boots.

Remember, if you don't wear it at home, you're not going to wear it at school. If you're debating whether or not to bring a piece and it's not something you absolutely love, leave it at home! You can always pack up a box of "maybes" and have your parents send it to you if you decide you need its contents.

Getting ready for college is hard enough without the added stress of figuring out what to pack. Hopefully this list makes it a little bit easier. Good luck and happy packing!

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7 Stressful Things About Summer Break

Even though I love summer, there are a few things about the sunny season that really bother me.

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For most people, summer is the best time of year, and I am definitely one of those people. However, even though I love summer, there are a few things about the sunny season that really bother me. Here are some of the reasons why summer is stressful.

1. Air Conditioning

When it's hot out, this may seem like a good thing, except for the fact that public places fail to realize that when they blast their air conditioners in the middle of July, it kind of feels like you're trapped in the frozen tundra.

2. Sunburns

Seemingly unavoidable, yet almost always happening, even with a cover-up and huge hat.

3. Bugs

Bugs are EVERYWHERE. Not only are they super annoying, but if you're one of those people who's terrified of all things bugs and anything that looks like a bug, this is a total nightmare.

4. The Heat

Going back to number one, a little bit of warm weather doesn't hurt anyone. However, when it's too hot, most of the time you just feel sluggish and miserable.

5. Gross Swimming Pools

The level of gross-ness is almost indescribable. Wet floors, hair everywhere... let's just say it is not pretty.

6. Allergies

More of a spring struggle, but since some summers start in May, I thought I'd shed some light on something many people absolutely HATE. Anyone who suffers from seasonal allergies knows what I'm talking about. That miserable time of year when you're constantly feeling sick is never fun.

7. Occasional Boredom

Hopefully, this doesn't happen too often, but everyone has that feeling of having nothing to do at some point.

Cover Image Credit: Natasha Trivedi

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