Respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be. Leo Tolstoy.


Relationships are one of the sweetest things and beautiful gifts nature/God has bestowed upon us. It's meant to be enjoyed and if there are challenges which are meant to be surmounted, but most times, this beautiful gift that is meant to be enjoyed ends up being a source of pain. Love can be crazy when it's not meant to be. Emotions can become wild when all we ever needed to be at that particular time is sane. You hear people say, I love him! Oh! I love her! I just can't help certain things. Some times ladies would say, I'm just cool with anything you know, so far, he keeps loving me, we all have excesses you know, and I love him. And when you look at the issues that warrants these statements, it all boils down to the tussle of Love and Respect.

Sometimes we get carried away by our emotions that we think love is all we need. At times, when we are not carried away, we are displacing Respect to cover Love. I've gotten my heart broken and I've learnt to rise, not forgetting where the balance lies between Love and Respect.

Love is a feeling of strong and constant affection for a person, and in this context, it's all about romantic love. Respect on the other hand, is a feeling of understanding or admiration that something or someone should be treated in an appropriate way. In a relationship, respect may even be more crucial than love. And often times, you can't really separate love from respect because as far as I am concerned, love is respect. How can you not respect someone you claim to love?

So, when you love someone, you respect them, their feelings, privacy, boundaries, decisions, food choices, mode of dressing etc. It is only when you respect your partner that it becomes easy for him/her to do same to you because often times, trust is part of respect. Therefore, your partner might wanna change/sacrifice a little bit or some things for you if he or she sees how much you value them.

Are there any boundaries between Love and Respect?

Well, love isn't all we need. We all need respect, in that, love itself can be egocentric. Love without respect is dangerous and it can literally crush the other person. See, people can love each other and still abuse each other and then, a Believer like me would say, he never really loved her. . . Don't be with a man or a woman because they say I love you all the time, buys you stuff yet insults you in front of your friends and theirs, your family or even lampoons your imperfections. I've heard people say stuff like why do you always chew like a goat? Stop allowing yourself to be abused because sometimes, it's love that makes abuse feel okay. You walk in on your partner sleeping with another lady/man, he probably didn't stop even though he/she saw you and they keep asking you why you stayed and you say, I just love him/her. . .

Love brings bliss to relationships if only tempered with respect. It's not only love that spurs you to warm your partner's bed, cook and clean but it's the awareness that you're doing all of these for someone that loves and respects you. You cannot want one and not want the other. It can make you comfortable for a while or you can tell yourself you are comfortable but the feeling is never going to last.

Finally, to respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection, not your toy, pet or product. It's only when you genuinely respect the individuality of the other person that we can truly love them.

Love is watery without respect.