Ah how I long to paint again, she said.
Brush stroking up my arm through to my mind.
If I could right now, I would paint the picture clear like the Rhine without bend.
I would give it a kiss of red like the sunset we hope to eventually find.
And then I'd take another breath.
If I could, right this moment, I would paint a mountain blue.
After a time, a haul, up the hill through a concrete sewed.
Unforgiving hills, as straight up without curve, it's true.
Will we reach it, love? I've no idea, but we'll sure try, we sure'll go.
And then we went.
No one else to know, the love we sent o'er the next place to fill.
Exhausted, surely with some things truly spent.
But never halting the growth as it seeds and the birds, aware, trill.
Yes over the mountain atop a hill, we went.
And I took a slight step more.
For we painted the bridge we crossed with our love and never looked back.
We grasped, clenched, squeezed, held on tight.
"No, hold my hand", said I, and over the mountain tracks did not look back.
Stole a glance to the side, glanced left and looked right.
You grabbed the safety rail, said "Twisted, is it?" And did not grab it again, did not look back.
"Leave it all, just leave it aside, and except to learn, yes hold me tight."
As I am thinking, just hold my hand love, yes, walk, keep us on track.
Glanced left, glared right, and held on tight.
For I thought of the worth of dragging when love has been dragged.
If I could this day, I would paint a cityscape black like beauty and strength it is.
I would glance at the starred and pained sky, would pray it sometimes rested.
I would with a finger give it a sparkle or two, like the city's lights that shine on it's majestic kiss.
And hope I could tell, when drag it happens, "you hold on to me strong, go ahead just test it."
You turned to look not backward but forward, held my heart with your fist.
Turned to see if it worked. "I know, dear," you whispered in pain. "One day, we'll best it."
And I kept eyes, yours and theirs, in mine.
If I could this minute, dear, I would paint a sky ruby red.
I would close the shutters on it all.
Like your smile, honey, that one that holds me at night in the stars' bed.
Picks me up after the drag, that long Boston Charles River haul.
I would work for seeds, plant them for sideways, upwards, all-wards growth instead.
Like when you turn my face to that shadow, tell it, no you can't have it all.
But remind me love can. And I took your hand.
For we traversed the long haul many a time, love, and surely can ride another tour.
Another city, another era maybe, but strength in my shadow, you lift me up.
We packed all this up once before, my doves, and we shall once more.
Yes, my strengths, you have given me time, and some stress you thankfully disrupt.
With mere presences, I'm blanketed, heart in mourning always hugged, I open 'nother door.
Staring at you deeply with the pounding feelings of a shivering soul shrouded, immortal love
Turning to you in absence of words while the city continues to run faster evermore,
And me, well, my doves, all I can say is "thank you for coming." As we glide up the hill over city up above.
And I glisten at their resilience.
If I could have painted yesterday, I might have painted a town bejeweled.
A roller coaster of grays and sun shines after a winter long.
A city in its waters and 'scrapers, in both chilled winters and duck-boat summers cooled,
In it's biggest small, for better forever never unsung.
The smallest big I have yet to see, over hearts rule,
The hurts and hugs you have given near to me, yet in aging and stung.
I question what they mean about the giving tree and their tools,
Yes maybe in fact near to me you'll always be young.
And we said we'll best it.
If I could paint tomorrow, I would traverse this hill once again.
If it meant going afar, and a-near to roam.
If it meant coming home to homes unattended, my heart to mend.
And a mother that holds me close, with also families afar that I built not on my own.
If it meant taking it by its shoulders and shaking it, the trend.
The trend that has hurt you, has hurt me, has left us calling far and alone.
Let's shake it up together, love, rewrite it for us, the future, we'll bend.
And we turned to the hill.
If I could paint tomorrow, I would only hope to say "I can."
And take your eyes and mine, give them both a splash of hope, it's hue
I would but ne'er turn back, only if to learn, would again hold your hand.
Would hold future memories through thorn and rose so true.
Yes I would blanket love in streams and sheens, hues of blues.
Yes I would paint it in colors, blue shades in ones and twos,
And blacks,
And reds
And purples
And silvers
And yellows
Oranges, ruby colors, even just slivers
Of sparkles
And twinkles
And shadows
And starlets
And ground weeds
Mixed with colors of markets
"Yes", you breathe. I think that's what peace looks like.
Hands hot and cold with memories starred in our eyes, future holding our breath
Intertwining, present, yours and mine.
Releasing sorrows once held down and kept,
We would paint a dark and light rainbow, love, oh it would be divine.
Ask me if I could paint tomorrow, and "paint with me" I'd say, let's stand never stiff.
Ask me if I could paint tomorrow, and never mind where I'll be.
And we might both say, yes we may ask "but what if?"
But honey, when we paint again tomorrow, your hand in mine, oh it will be with peaceful force like the sea.
And we took another breath.
