I love my university. As I’ve said countless times, my freshman year was one of the best years of my life. I already miss being at school, having been at home for only a couple weeks.

Despite my typical pride in my identity as a USC student, recently, I’ve felt ashamed. It’s no secret that the university has been in some hot water in the past couple weeks - this last scandal has brought up many confusing and negative feelings towards the University I’ve grown so fond of.

A little over a week ago, I received an email from President Nikias informing us of a former gynecologist who was reported to have molested countless women over his 30-year career with the university. He was allowed to resign with a financial payout, and the reports that started in the 1990’s were hidden from students, staff, and the medical world. Upon more reading and research, I was appalled to find out what types of things this man was doing routinely to women my own age, at my own school, in my own health center. I won’t get into it here, as that it would only upset me more. If you’re curious, prepare yourself and then google it.

What was more upsetting than the scandal itself was the way it was handled by the University - by the people who are supposed to be educating us, setting examples for us, and protecting us. What we’ve been receiving are apologies and assurances that an issue such as this will never happen again.

I’m a forgiving person. Usually, a sincere apology is enough for me, the first time someone wrongs me. However, this has not been the first time USC has upset me in only the past year.

In early April, rumors of an RA suicide swept campus - many different versions of the same story flew around, confusing and scary and unsettling. What was even more unsettling was the fact that much of this information was never cleared up, as that the only news that came out about it was from our student newspaper.

There was no Department of Public Safety alert like we often get and no university email. Ever.

While the Cinema School did send out a message, many students and faculty didn’t know about the tragedy even days afterward. I was heartbroken for all of those affected, who I knew were exponentially more heartbroken. There was a vigil held, the health center offered more counseling during the difficult time. However, unlike the usual tragic disregard for most teen suicides, this one was difficult to forget. I believe it was harder for the student body to grieve because it was never acknowledged by our university. No condolences, no information, no sympathy. I was shocked and severely disappointed.

Being a part of my university’s greek life, I have had my fair ear of stories of crazy nights and run-ins with Department of Public Safety. However, it wasn’t because the people I kept talking to were insane partiers who caused trouble.

It was because DPS was staking out outside frats, waiting for students to walk by and asking for IDs for less than credible reasons. An of age girl in my sorority was kept at Trader Joe's for 20 minutes after purchasing alcohol, waiting for the officer to contact the university and verify her legality, after she complied and showed her government issued ID.

Another one of my friends was transported to the hospital after drinking a dangerous amount. Friends involved called DPS, because it was necessary, yes, but also because students are assured of a principle that DPS claims to follow: amnesty. Students are assured that if there is an emergency and they choose to call DPS to help, they won’t get written up for things such as underage drinking. My friend was not only transported to the hospital and received terrible treatment there, but she was written up and sent to Student Judicial Affairs.

Countless friends of mine have been stopped by DPS while walking out of parties or along the row, often times completely sober, simply for wearing a wristband. While sometimes these wristbands indicate 21-year-olds, that is not always the case. These cases are not only unfair to students getting disciplinary action, but they are wasting the time of officers who could be helping real emergencies. I was under the impression that our campus police is there to protect us - not antagonize us.

All of these aforementioned instances have made me pessimistic about the leadership of my University, and that’s not even the half of it. There are so many more issues, ranging from more large-scale scandals such as the meth-smoking former dean of Keck School of Medicine, to smaller but important issues like the unnecessarily and unfairly difficult Chemistry department that left my best friend boyfriend up late, in tears, and discouraged about studying what they have previously been so passionate about.

Why is it that after making me fall in love with it, my university has been hurting me and my peers?Why do I feel like my university doesn’t love me back - only loves the GPA, SAT score, and the statistic that I come with? Why is it that I’m torn between wanting to go back to the life I love so much and being afraid to go back to an environment of dishonesty, mistrust, and false protection?

I don’t have answers to these questions or solutions to these problems: all I have is my voice. So, USC, you can think that your institutional image is more important than the wellbeing of your so-called “Trojan Family,” you can claim all of the characteristics as you want that make up a true Trojan, and you can email us all you can with apologies and promised reform.

What I know for certain is that I am proud to be a trojan, and I will continue to love this university in the pursuit of making it better, with our without your help and even despite your harm. You can bet that I and my thousands of student peers won’t cease using our voices until our university reflects our morals. That, in fact, is what makes us Trojans. What makes you one?