Is love a mental illness? We fantasize about the person we love and claim that they can do nothing wrong and they are perfect. People obsess and go through withdrawals just like it is a drug. People can become addicted to this other person. We have this need to belong, which is motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing, positive interactions. Sometimes it is not with the right people. This could also be a sign of complementary, the tendency to complete what is missing in the other. It is possible that there is something that you are not getting out of your life and trying to find it in someone else.
A close relationship consists of secure attachment, as in an enduring marriage that would make for a happy life. Companionate love is most likely to endure when both partners feel the partnership is equitable, with both partners putting in the effort to make the relationship work. Love as a mental illness takes away this magical thinking that there is only one person out there for us. In reality, we could be happy with a number of people. It is the mere-exposure effect, when you live near someone and find them attractive you will like them more. It is based on circumstance.
There is the concept of the sexy cad who is someone that is not reliable and not the best person for a husband. The good dad is someone who is responsible and mature, the ideal guy for a husband. However, people will go with the opposite, because of the attractiveness level and other fun factors. This guy is like a sexy cad, he does not treat you well and no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. It is not healthy; if you would not want this for your own daughter or son, then you should not want it for yourself.
There is verbal abuse as well as physical abuse. Someone putting you down, making you feel guilty when you did nothing wrong. That’s not love. I'm not an expert on love, but I know it is not that. It is easy to get dragged in and hard to leave.
Sometimes the person in the relationship does not realize that they are in a toxic relationship. Try talking to them about it, not by yelling at them and telling them they are stupid. Odds are they will to respond well to such behavior. Explain to them that they deserve better and have this option. If this is happening to you, just know that you are not stuck and there is a way out. Even though it may not seem that way or it is hard. It is going to be difficult but you will get through this.
Often we focus on the good and believe that this person will change. It is not going to change. There is a cutoff point when giving someone second chances. Everyone deserves a second chance, but if you’re on your sixth or seventh it’s probably time to let this person go.
