Dear Ben and Jerry,
How do I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art sweeter and come in 100+ flavors.
To be quite honest, I'm not sure I can put my feelings into words. How does one describe true love? Many have tried through songs, poetry, plays and more, but alas, I am no artist. I don't believe the human language has the vocabulary I need to articulate my desire for your unparalleled ice creamy goodness, but even so I will do my best.
You are a crusader of the ice cream industry by breaking apart from the ice cream norms and adding both cookie dough and brownie dough into a single ice cream treat. You pave the way for ice cream stores everywhere and provide a safe haven for even the most picky of ice cream connoisseurs.
What would the ice cream inclined people of the world do without prepackaged pints in varieties of flavors? Surely, they would perish. Your ice cream treats are ever so cleverly packaged into one big tub. Is it truly meant to be scooped and not just dug into with a spoon? I have always found that no matter the serving suggestion, one sitting will definitely do the trick.
Without Ben and Jerry's, there would be no guilty pleasure when crying into a tub of ice cream over a break up. Other brands simply do not compare. They are not nearly as flavorful, rich or whimsically titled as "Chunky Monkey" or "The Americone Dream". There is truly no better way to battle with heartbreak than to stock up your freezer with Ben and Jerry's and eat them by the pint whilst watching "Dirty Dancing".
Not only are you an entrepreneur, but you're an ice cream industry hero. You've gone above and beyond pleasing ice cream lovers everywhere, purely because of the fact that you have non-dairy flavor substitutes. In my personal opinion, one of the most heartbreaking stories I've ever heard was that of an acquaintance of mine, who was a fellow ice cream lover, but could not delight in its milky goodness due to a lactose intolerance. You will truly be a hero for generations to come for both your non-dairy ice creams and officially vegan-approved ice creams. Your products are also non-GMO, meaning that your customers can be assured they are not consuming genetically modified ingredients. Your efforts are commendable in pursuing your noble goal of ice cream equality for all. America thanks you for making ice cream for those who previously did not have the pleasure.
Lastly, you've helped to make progress towards non-ice cream related issues such as LGBT equality, GMO labeling, climate justice, American democracy, fair-trade and more. So basically, you make the best ice cream known to mankind and are also concerned about humanitarian issues. Meaning I have one question: did it hurt when you fell? Because you're a literal angel from heaven above, no question about it.
So here's to Ben and Jerry's! Thank you for everything you do and keep doing you. Please continue to spread joy and ice cream throughout the U.S.
Your biggest fan,
Leah Whittemore
